Nothing more than vanity run amuck

Tryin' to be an Interweb Hobo

2008-07-02T21:23:00.002-04:00

I love hobos. Hobos like to live off the grid. They leave their jobs, permanent addresses, and tax burdens so as to live off the land and their wits. They break their ties and forge ahead into a world unfettered by their conformist pasts.

I'd like to hobo-cize my Internet presence. At the tender age of 25, I've got profiles and postings and random accounts a-plenty. Too many to count, in fact, and it freaks me out that each of those profiles is out there saying something about me when I'm not watching. True, it's all stuff that I wrote (or my publicist, Courtney No Last Name), but I can't remember what or where it all is. And it doesn't go away, and I don't know who's seeing it. Frankly, I feel a little dirty knowing all that is out there. So, I'd like to go off the grid a little - remove the unwanted profiles, purge the Interweb indiscretions of my youth (myspace account, I'm thinking of you here). I'd feel better and I'm sure there'd be some carbon offsetting benefit somewhere in there.

So I tried to take step one today - delete MySpace account. Eliminate the most pervasive example of frivolous internet presence. Purge the wasted energy beast. Except you can't delete your account without responding to an email sent to your email address of record, which happens to be my old McDaniel College account. Do I know the password to that account? No. Do I know the address to check it? No. Does it even still exist? Probably, and it's likely filled with campus-wide announcements about poster sales and Karaoke happy hours. But none of that helps me and my mission.

So, the jagged claws of the internet have won this battle, but I will persevere. I will take the hill and win the war. I will google this problem into the Stone Age, and I will begin the journey to selective hobo-ocity.

Feel free to check my Facebook page for updates...

If you're interested in further hobo learnin', here are some fun definitions from urbandictionary.com

Hobo -
1. A hobo, unlike a bum or a tramp, is more than willing to work, but mostly for a short duration, as their main impetus is travel, the love of the journey above the actual destination. A bum is stationary, feeding off of those unfortunate enough to cross his path; a hobo merely travels from town to town, finding work when he can, but only for the sake of financing his next adventure. NEVER call a hobo a bum...they'll kick your sorry no-bo ass!
2. A free man/woman who is no longer trapped in the society of capitalism and time. He/she can go to sleep whenever he/she wants to, and do anything.
Hobos are good at recycling dumpstered food that huge coporations throws out.
3. nothin beats the hobo life stabbin folks with my hobo knife
4. Hobos are a peaceful people.Being homeless and pennyless, similar to MC Hammer. They go place to place taking money from people for doing odd jobs, whether it be pulling weeds, kiiling roaches, cleaning roach poop, or eating roaches.

They're like uh...drifters. Telling stories to whoever they can

Shout Out to My Girls of the Waxum class of Chi Delta Mu

2008-06-13T11:22:00.003-04:00

I plainly remember watching television just out of the hope that this commercial would come on.

Thanks, Gap.

PS - Thanks to the "Related Searches" field of YouTube, I also found all the old Khaki Swing and Mellow Yellow Gap ads. I don't know whether it's the utterly neutral tones of the clothing or the cult-like group singalongs, but I love these ads.

Tengo que practicar mi espanol como whoa.

2008-05-23T16:17:00.002-04:00

As my absence from the blog that bears my name may have indicated, I have been having a fantastic time in Buenos Aires. I´ve had the pleasure of exploring the city on my own and with my expert tour guide, Heather Kirkwood. Sadly, my visit to her adopted home will be driving her into the poorhouse, but I´m having a great time!

Like a good little smart kid, I took a week of classes at the Spanish school where HK works. During these 20 hours, I became a big mishmash of English, French, Italian, and Latin pronunciation blunders and good intentions. Regardless, my Spanish has improved dramatically and I am now able to communicate on the same level as your local 6th or 7th grader. Maybe a 6th or 7th grader who only attended the first month of class. I know my numbers, ok? Rome wasn´t built in a day, people.

I can´t really think of anything else to say in this little blogbit, so here´s a list of random observances about Buenos Aires:
- There is a lot of beef. Complementing all the beef, lots of leather. It´s a sad state of affairs for the cows of Argentina, but good news for the meat-eating fashionistas!
- BA is a lot like New York City, but all in Spanish. This gives it a romantic quality that I do not often experience while enduring the crowds of NYC. No me gusta los personas en les calles de Nueva York.
- There is a secret army of mosquitos that attacks me every night while I sleep. I am a mess of bites and scratches. Muy linda, to say the least.
- The elevator in my apartment building is a cool elevator from antquity with a grated door you close yourself. Strangely this is the only elevator in the world that does not give me anxiety every time I step into it. I hate elevators.
- Tango is pretty cool. Modern tango performed live in a converted garage in a back alley is even cooler.
- There are pockets of Juan Peron and Evita devotion all over the city, but nothing along the lines of royal worship that I found in Thailand. Maybe Madonna ruined it for everyone.
- To preserve Heather Kirkwood´s street cred, it is required that you stop speaking English to her as soon as you encounter another English speaker on the street. If your Spanish is not up to par, then you must just be quiet until the offensive tourist or expat leaves the immediate vicinity. Then you may continue with your story or question.
- The rainy season in Uruguay stared on May 19 this year, and I was there.

Before I leave the country on Tuesday, I have an evening at the boliche tonight (ie. I´ll return home sometime after dawn), a day of consumerism and recuperation tomorrow, and then a short trip to the waterfalls of Iguazu and the Brazilian border on Sunday and Monday. Even though all of my clothes are dirty, my back is killing me from my pillow-like bed, and I´m really looking foward to taking a long shower in my own bathroom, I´m sad to think about leaving Buenos Aires and my South American adventure so soon.

In closing, here´s a picture of an Ecuadorian cow from my hotel in Papallacta. He is quietly crying for the fate of his Argentine brother.

An Encounter with the Ecuadorian DEA leaves Lizzie Musar feeling creative...

2008-05-13T19:49:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone and greetings from the Tocumen International Airport in possibly lovely Panama City, Panama. Please note, this is not the Panama City, FL airport that a delightfully dim girl in DC thought she was flying to over a week ago when I started my South American adventure.

Since that painful 6:30 am departure from Dulles on May 4th, I have successfully:
1. Helped facilitate a very successful staff retreat.
2. Remembered why I love where I work and the people that I work with.
3. Found a bunch of new reasons to feel good about the future of conservation
4. Had a minor meltdown about my own future, but whatever, that happens all the time these days.
5. Had a kickin' massage from a tiny Ecuadorian lady who I later found dancing quite graphically to My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas.
6. Routinely had to stop and catch my breath after walking with a quickness or climbing any flight of stairs because living at an elevation of 11,000 feet actually does take its toll on you.
7. Hung out with coworkers in the thermal baths of our spa retreat center (www.papallacta.com.ec)at least 3 out of 6 nights that we were there.
8. Left Ecuador for stop #2 on the South American Adventure - Buenos Aires, Argentina!

Now, number 8 may not seem all that remarkable, given that I have a previously purchased ticket and was able to find my way back to the airport in Quito in time for my flight. Easy peasy japanesy, right?

Sadly, my departure from Quito was not the smooth sailing that I had so eagerly anticipated. Rather than quickly boarding the plane and popping in the iPod to watch "Evidence of Things Not Seen" for the 300th time, I was treated to a baggage check by the Ecuadorian drug authorities. I'm not sure if it was a random check or if there was something in my bag that set them off, but here's how the scene played out, with a little creative commentary that is sorely overdue to my friend, Courtney (last name withheld to protect her adult anonymity, even though I'm not saying anything bad about her here. Other than implying that she has a friend who is now a known target of the Ecuadorian Drug Enforcement Agency. Which I am. I have a record now. Cool.)

Scene: Int. Quito airport, gate A2 (I think there are five gates total, it's a real hopping airport to say the least.) Lizzie Musar is sitting at gate Skypeing with Heather Kirkwood and Katie Musar.

Loudspeaker: Spanish spanish spanish Musar spanish spanish spanish.
Musar internal: That's weird, I think they just called my name, too bad I don't speak Spanish worth a damn. Let me log off and check it out.
Musar approaches gate agent: Soy Elizabeth Musar.
Gate agent: No hablo ingles, senora.
Musar internal: That's funny, I was trying to speak Spanish. And don't call me "Senoria." Or Shirley. Hehe.
Other Gate agent: Que tal?
Musar: Soy Elizabeth Musar. Tu llama mi nombre?
Other Gate Agent: Si, la policia spanish spanish spanish spanish.
Musar: Que? No hablo espanol, lo siento.
OGA: Oh, the police need to talk to you. Go with this person.
Musar: Ok.
Musar internal: The police need to talk to me, that's strange. I haven't witnessed any crimes or found any missing wallets. I have all of my bags. Wonder what they want to talk about.
Musar follows OGA #2 outside of gate area, down stairwell, and into baggage sorting area below gate and next to plane.
Musar internal: It's hot out today. Hey, look at that yellow lab! Dog at the airport! Wait, dogs at the airport are drug sniffing dogs. HOLY CRAP, THEY THINK I HAVE DRUGS IN MY BAG!!!
Aaron Sorkin: Hey Lizzie, looks like you may be in a spot of trouble. Don't worry, I've been here before, it all works out ok.
Musar internal: Aaron Sorkin, what are you doing in my head? And what are you talking about, everything turns out alright? I seem to remember you were arrested and thrown in rehab when drugs were found in your luggage AND then went on to leave the best show ever made. Nothing worked out ok in that situation, nothing.
Sorkin: That's awfully dramatic of you, don't you think?
Musar internal: Shut up, Aaron Sorkin, my bag is about to be searched by that cute yellow lab. My dirty underwear is going to be strewn about downtown Quito on the afternoon breeze, I'm gonna go to jail like Claire Danes in Brokedown Palace, and I don't even have any drugs in my bag. I'm gonna be a cautionary tale.
Sorkin: Look, I'm just saying that you need to find happiness beyond West Wing. True, it was probably the greatest work of mine or anyone's life, but Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip wasn't ---
Musar internal: Shut up, Sorkin, they're talking about me and pointing!
Small Ecuadorian Man with Big Gun: Musar, Elizabeth?
Musar: Si, soy Elizabeth Musar, pero no hablo espanol.
SEMwBG: Did you check a bag?
Musar: Yes, that big gray one over there (points to bag in small pile of other presumably suspect bags).
SEMwBG: Is the bag here?
Musar: Yes, it's that gray one over there.
SEMwBG: Which bag is it?
Sorkin: This is starting to sound like I wrote it with all the repetition. God that's such an effective tool for entertainment.
Musar internal: I swear to God, I will beat within an inch of your ego-driven, imaginary life, Sorkin. I'm trying to concentrate here!
Musar: It's this one, sir.
SEMwBG: Please place it on this table and open it up.
Musar: No problem. (grunts at immense weight of bag, groans at thought of having to repack overly stuffed bag, opens hateful bag)
Sorkin: Now this is when you have to start distracting them. Talk about the weather. Ask about the dog. How do you feel about flashing him?
Musar internal: You really are some kind of idiot, Aaron Sorkin. Now shut up, the dog is coming over.
SEMwBG: Where are you from?
Musar: Washington, DC in the US.
SEMwBG: How long have you been in Ecuador?
Musar: 9 days, I was in Papallacta.
SEMwBG: In the mountains? It's very high up there, no?
Musar: Yes!! It is very high up there!
Musar internal: Good, now we're friends. Bonding over altitude. I probably shouldn't have just said "high" so enthusiastically.
Sorkin: Flash him, flash him!
Musar internal: What's wrong with you?
SEMwBG sniffs bag, rain coat, toiletry bag, notices three boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese.
SEMwBG: What is this?
Musar internal: Crap, how do I explain Heather's need for Kraft Easy Mac without sounding like I've loaded the orange cheese powder packet with cocaine?
Musar: It's a gift for a friend in Argentina. She misses it.
Musar internal: That was incredibly stupid.
Sorkin: Yeah, way to open up the door to further inquisition there, sport.
Musar internal: Don't you have a show to sink somewhere??
Sorkin: Now you're just being mean.
SEMwBG: Argentina? You are going to the US.
Musar: No, I'm from the US, I'm going to Argentina for vacation.
SEMwBG: You didn't say that.
Musar: Oh, well, I am going to Argentina for two weeks before I return to the US.
SEMwBG: And what is this? (holds up kraft box)
Musar: It's macaroni and cheese. For my friend. There's peanut butter in there, too. Here let me show you. (reaches for bag to unearth jar of Jif from underneath pile of dirty bras.
SEMwBG: That's not necessary. You know I am searching for drugs, yes?
Musar: Yes, I figured.
Sorkin: This guy has no sense of subtlety.
Musar internal: I think he's a little more concerned with freaking me out right now. Also, the dudes with the big guns don't need subtlety. They have big guns.
Sorkin: Very true.
SEMwBG: (Sniffs some more stuff, pokes dirty underwear with a wooden stick) Ok, thank you, you may go now. Enjoy your vacation.
Musar: Thanks, here I'll help you rezip the bag, it's pretty full.
SEMwBG: Please go back to your gate, miss.
Musar: Ok, gracias. (walks back to gate with OGA#2)
Musar internal: I'm safe.
Sorkin: I'm fairly certain you couldn't have possibly handled that with any less finesse or poise, though maybe if you had urinated on yourself and run towards the tarmac, you would've proved me wrong.
Musar internal: Shut up, I hate you.

From my hotel in Quito

2008-05-05T11:24:00.003-04:00

A haiku about 24 hours in Ecuador

The air is so thin
Hills make you winded, but the
City takes breath, too

I am in the historical center of Quito, the capital of Ecuador. The buildings are old, the mountains are rising in the background. It´s a beautiful introduction to the city.

Oooh, I forgot!

2008-04-24T21:21:00.001-04:00

16. Profanity!!

List of Things I'll Always Love

2008-04-23T20:59:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to do this whole focus on the positive, so here you have it. This is my own personal version of Maria Von Trapp's "Favorite Things"...

1. When Rolf yells "Lieutenant!!" in the convent scene in the Sound of Music - rather, I always love to imitate it.
2. "The Real Slim Shady"- "And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?" I don't know why.
3. When CJ tells the Cartographers for Social Justice that flipping the map upside down is freaking her out in Season Two of the West Wing.
4. String intros on great songs - best examples are Nightswimming by REM and No Peace Los Angeles by Mike Doughty
5. Sleeping in the sun
6. Theodore Roosevelt Island
7. My red Thai pants
8. Gummy fried eggs - even if I don't eat them anymore
9. Driving
10. Feeling like a good person because I'm taking the Metro to work instead of driving.
11. Parallel structure in lists and outlines
12. The sound of typing
13. Almost anything Timbaland does
14. Saying "donde," "aqui," y "ahora" completely out of linguistic context
15. The number 104

My Hippie Music

2008-04-22T08:19:00.003-04:00

Thanks to Katharine for sending me the link to this latest Mike Doughty video. Katie, pay close attention to the end of minute 2, I believe Scrap is dishing out the sausage/world peace.

I like to think my global contribution is my endless optimism for a better world.

To make my amends

2008-03-08T20:13:00.002-05:00

I've been a really bad blogger lately. I'm sorry. To make it up to everyone, I'm taking the easy way out and posting a video clip! This is the real world trial of an office chair that's supposed to sculpt your abs whilest you work. British-infused hilarity ensues...

Open Letter to Anonymous Commenter

2008-01-24T20:43:00.000-05:00

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

1. LASIK, not lazik. You'll notice that I've actually spelled it out for you in the post.

2. Are you implying that I should have gastric bypass surgery? If so, this is most disconcerting. I'm not sure if you know me, but I don't quite qualify for gastric bypass surgery. My BMI is normal, and though I'm definitely chubbier than I like right now, I'm by no means obese.

It's kind of you to think of me, but you're wrong if you're thinking that gastric bypass surgey can help my Type 1 diabetes. See Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disorder. My immune system attacked my pancreas and now it's kaput. The result is the inability to produce insulin and regulate the level of glucose in my blood. The insulin pump replaces the broken pancreas in the best way doctors currently know how.

You're probably thinking of Type 2 diabetes. This is the disorder where a person's body continues to produce insulin, it's just really bad about using it correctly. It can be caused by a number of factors, including just getting old, but one of the most popular reasons to blame right now is obesity, which is what the gastric bypass surgery is trying to address. Being overweight is a major factor of developing Type 2 diabetes. It is NOT, in any way, related to Type 1 diabetes.

So, there's your first mistake. If you're recommending that I get gastric bypass surgery, you have effectively just recommended that I surgerically starve myself.

Your second mistake is believing everything you read in the news. This study says that gastric bypass has the great benefit of "curing" diabetes. I hope that for many of the patients, that's true, it would be great. Unfortunately, since the study didn't look at 5 year, 10 year, or 20 year follow up results, we'll never know if that claim is actually true, and the patients were cured for life, or if their condition actually returned because their treatment was really only a band aid for whatever caused them to become obese to begin with.

See, something made these people obese. The weight is just a symptom of that underlying cause. Surgery treats the weight/symptom without any regard to the cause. Surgery to correct Type 2 diabetes, generally a lifestyle disease, is going to do the exact same thing. Obesity and Type 2 diabetes are generally acquired conditions, so the "cure" has to be ongoing lifestyle change. It's hard to make lasting change, though, when you're first step is such a drastic, one-time measure.

All this is my very long-winded way of saying that the gastric bypass study was funded by the company that makes the bands that are used in the surgery (yeah, it's true, look it up), and that until they publish some long term results that don't show a significant number of the subjects showing renewed symptoms of Type 2 diabetes over the next several years, this data is bunk and may be doing more harm than good.

But thanks for piping up, we always encourage participation here at Lizzie's Blog!

Open Letter to My Insulin Pump

2008-01-21T14:46:00.000-05:00

So, uh, I wear an insulin pump. It keeps me alive and looks like this:
It's connected to me all the time via some very cool tubing and a little IV-like guy that I replace every few days.

I've been wearing it for about two months now, and I felt like reflecting on the experience. So, here you go, an open letter to my 24-hour companion.

Dear Batman,

We've had 11 wonderful weeks together. True, these last two months haven't all been smooth sailing, but I think you'll agree with me that the growing pains are nearing their end.

Some may say we were foolish kids to get so close so quickly. I mean, come on, we were living together after that first fateful date at the pump trainer's! I don't care how you slice it, that's a pretty quick transition. One minute you were theoretical, the next, we were joined at the abdomen. No pre-nup, no discussion of kids or values or walks on the beach. Just immediate, assumed compatibility.

And it's been great, really, it has. We've had some fun and some laughs. You've met my friends and my family. We got through the holidays with flying colors, right?

But, I'm not gonna lie - I've got some beefs. There's some stuff I'd like to discuss. Now, I say all of this out of love, and because I think we could have a real future together. But if we're gonna last, we need to have an open an honest relationship - the good, the bad, and the ugly, ok? Here goes:

1. Some times you're not very predictable - Mornings seem to be kind of a crap shoot lately. 65, 157, who knows what's gonna show up on the meter? I get it, we're still feeling each other out, and obviously my own choices play a role in the matter, but is it too much to ask that you start to follow SOME kind of pattern??

2. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're kind of ... big. Usually it's not a problem, you fit in my bra and we get along fine, safe in our own secret world. But other times, like this morning, your size makes it impossible to get dressed. You stick out of my pockets, you make my waistbands tighter when clipped in there. You're just big. I know you've come a long way since your backpack days, and I don't want to give you a complex or anything, but it is kind of a drag ALWAYS having to figure out where to stick you.

3. Speaking of size - STOP MAKING ME GAIN WEIGHT! Enough already. I'm not arguing on this one.

4. Your family drives me slightly batty. Animas has been great, really, but your software is a joke! I haven't seen a graphics interface that lame since the original Flight Simulator. You don't seem to get along well with the USB linky thing either. I like YOU, though, so I'm willing to hope the family comes around in time.

So there it is. I think we can work on these issues. They are as much my fault as they are yours. But, I promise to stick with it if you do, kid!

Love,

Lizzie

A question and a chunk

2008-01-07T22:09:00.000-05:00

I was successfully declared an excellent candidate for LASIK eye surgery today. Now all I need to do is agree to let someone I don't know SHOOT LASERS AT MY EYES!!! But first, I'm get to pay him a tremendous amount of money. So, I ask the Internet community, should I sign my thick corneas up for some LASIK action?

Now, let's get back to 2007 and the stuff I didn't know:
24. How thick my corneas are.
25. How long Anna Karenina is.
26. That it can be 70 degrees on Thanksgiving.
27. I may actually prefer an alternative Thanksgiving menu of salmon and eggplant parmagiana.
28. I make a wicked vegetable soup from scratch.
29. Funny people aren't funny without writers.
30. I'd start to feel moderately competent at my job.
31. My job will always feel incredibly difficult.
32. I LOVE SCOTT BAIO.
33. Scott Baio was a real cad for a while there.
34. Eat, Pray, Love would rock my socks in a low key introspective way.
35. That I'm really good at backbends in yoga.
36. The return of Aaron Sorkin with Charlie Wilson's War is good, but doesn't make up for the post-Sorkin West Wing funk.
37. The name Judd Aptow.
38. I'm not ready for Thai massage. I don't think I'll ever be ready for Thai massage.
39. To be properly feng shui'd, the bed cannot face towards the door.
40. I would inherit a beta fish named Fishy.
41. One morning, we would find Fishy swimming around with what looked like a popped gill.
42. Fishy popped his gill because he was constipated.
43. Fish get constipated.
44. Even if they bloom early, the cherry blossoms really are worth all the fuss.
45. I'd become an eeensy bit obsessed with a Broadway show called Spring Awakening.
46. Chicken Lizzie is a name that sticks.
47. Flying around in a 15 seater plane isn't that scary.
48. Having the window in front of you pop open is a little scary.
49. I'm getting really good at cooking tofu.
50. After starting Atonement in February, I'd finally get past page 30 on December 19th and be finished with it by December 22nd.

Some more to come. Please feel free to suggest categories, if you like.

100 Things that I know now...

2008-01-03T16:02:00.000-05:00

The BBC put together their annual list of 100 Things We Didn't Know Last Year here.

I fully intend on creating my own list of 100 Things Lizzie Didn't Know Last Year, but that's a lot of things, you know, at once. So how about we break this sucker down into some more manageable chunks. 2008 is the year of more manageable expectations, after all.

Chunk #1 - No particular theme, no rhyme or reason
1. Barack Obama would win the Iowa democratic caucas.
2. The name Benazir Bhutto.
3. Grey's Anatomy would totally jump the shark.
4. What the sun in Thailand felt like.
5. What the sun in Honduras felt like.
6. What a mosquito bite in Honduras feels like.
7. You can't find cuter kids than the Miskito kids in Rio Platano. Really, it's impossible.
8. Jumping from one shot a day to six shots a day doesn't take all that long to get used to.
9. Wearing an insulin pump doesn't take all that long to get used to.
10. Getting used to something DOES NOT imply acceptance.
11. I looked really cute with short hair.
12. Street squid in Bangkok is pretty damn tasty.
13. Pad thai really is only the tip of the Thai food iceberg.
14. I firmly support the work of unions.
15. Edmunds.com is a girl's best friend.
16. I understand horsepower.
17. The difference between a 4 cylinder, 6 cylinder, and 8 cylinder engine.
18. To laugh, even inside, at people who refer to a "V-4" engine.
19. I like to wear slippers.
20. I can go 6 months without owning a car.
21. It really bugged me to not have a car at my disposal all the time.
22. The phrase is actually "all intents and purposes" NOT "all intensive purposes." Really, I swear.
23. How to do links on blogger.com.

Ok, that's all for now. Stay tuned for the rest of list later to come.

Sometimes I get creative...

2007-11-27T21:09:00.000-05:00

When thinking about my half empty 30 gig iPod, I created this little tune in my head, sung to the tune of "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.

What'cha gonna do with all them gigs
All them gigs inside that Pod?
I'mma play, play, play, play you songs
Play you songs songs all night long.

I Support the Unions!!

2007-11-07T16:59:00.000-05:00

Especially writers. They take nothing and make funny. Or tragic. They should be compensated fairly for that talent.

Thanks to the writers and actors of The Office for making this funny video and helping a consumer like me understand what's going on with all this picket-y pop.

A: Freak. Scum. Witch. Cotton Balls.

2007-10-28T20:37:00.000-04:00

Q: What is the TBS version of the Old School "ear muffs" scene and exactly why good movies shouldn't be allowed to be altered and shown on basic cable.

You're my boy, Blue.

Also -

100th POST!!!

On this auspicious occasion, let's got back to my roots and remember from whence the Blog o' Lizzie Musar came.

The year was 2004, and I looked like this:

I lived with my friends on a college campus seemingly built for impromptu picnics and finding your niche.

Exactly three years ago, this picture was taken:

(To preserve the Google identity of my friend in drag, I won't name names, but I will say, he made a fantastic Blair from Facts of Life.)

I was writing papers like crazy:
- By the People: Low Voter Turn Out and the Nature of Democracy in America
- Conscious of a Sinning Nation: The Changing Interpretation of Abolitionism since 1885
- More Than Victims: Women, Children, and a Feminist Interpretation of Trafficking in Persons Law

I invested a fair amount of time in crafting perfect away messages.

The future was only theoretical and rent was a myth.

An affordable dinner meant a can of tuna fish and half a sleeve of crackers.

Bad choices were occasionally worn as a badge of honor, and Mary Prankster was a battle cry.

Like a second-act teenager, I was trying my hardest to figure out adolescent skirmishes in a feigned adult world.

I still had 6 months before real life kicked in, and I couldn't wait. Looking back, this was dumb. D-U-M-B.

It was a damn good life.

I cut open my pepper and found God or a single mother

2007-10-14T18:39:00.000-04:00

Imagine my surprise when I sliced into my red bell pepper and found this

My lunch apparently had a good time in my grocer's case, and came home knocked up. I'm not sure who the father was, but seeing as mother and child were now living in my care, I decided it was time to deliver.

Call me crazy, but doesn't this look like Babar, King of the Elephants, holding a giant green apple while wearing a jaunty green witch's hat?

With a quick cut to the umbilical root, pepper fetus becomes pepper baby.

Call the royal guard - Babar has been robbed!!

After giving the mama pepper a c-section, I ate her and threw her dissected baby in the trash. Aren't you glad that I didn't pursue a career in medicine?

Happy birthday, Mom!!

2007-10-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My mom's the best,
Admit it, or I'll fight you!

Happy Birthday, Pussy Cat!!!

I swear, I didn't even WANT the candy

2007-08-13T21:48:00.000-04:00

I accidently OD'd on my NovoLog tonight. About an hour ago, I was singing in my car and shot myself up with 10 units of the old rapid acting stuff rather than the correct Levemir. Then I freaked out, because the rapid acting insulin drops your blood sugar very quickly, especially in a dose that is twice the amount that I've ever taken before. When your blood sugar drops that quickly, you pass out, and if you don't eat lots of carbs very quickly, bad things happen.

I was next to a Hollywood Video, so I ran inside and grabbed candy. What doesn't have nuts in it, what is pure sugar? Junior Mints and Kit Kat - perfect! Thanks to our consumer driven obesity epidemic, each came in double serving packs, giving me a whopping 114 carbs in two neat packages. I ate the Kit Kat so fast, I think I heard it screaming for mercy, and then chased it with half the box (so one serving) of Junior Mints. I haven't had that quick a hit of sugar in a year (remember, today is my dia-versary), so I pretty much wanted to puke in about 30 seconds and definitely confirmed that I have a cavity in upper molar.

Then, I started the phone calls. First, to my insurance's emergency nurse, who told me to call Poison Control. With thoughts of neon green Mr. Yuk stickers and big bottles of bleach, I called up Poison Control. Paul, my new Poison Control BFF, kept me testing and talking. Here's how the numbers went - before shot: 144. 15 minutes after shot: 130. 5 minutes later: 140. 5 minutes later: 145. 8 minute drive home (I was trending up and the insulin wasn't going to peak for another 40 minutes - it's ok, really): 140. Ugh, more Junior Mints and a call to Paul.

Paul gives me the green light stop eating Junior Mints (thank God, I hate them now) and to move on to real food. I now have a delicious sweet potato and hot dog waiting for me (mmm, protein and slow acting carbs), and another date to call Paul in two hours after the NovoLog should be working its way out of my system.

Maybe Paul and I will get married and this will be our how-we-met story.

PS: I'm never eating freaking candy again.

Taking a cue from the Monty Python boys and the sunny side of life

2007-08-04T08:02:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. This time last year my pancreas pooped out and it blew, so I'm going to dedicate this August to making the best of bad situations.

Example one - an entire Philippine prison gets down with "Thiller"

Nevermind

2007-07-29T22:49:00.000-04:00

Unless Scott Baio is sewing some pants for the pizza delivery stripper girl in their camera-free closet, he and I are no longer BFF's. He will be replaced by Daniel Craig. Done. Daniel Craig and I will have splendid intellectual conversations.

My Celebrity BFF's

2007-07-29T22:19:00.000-04:00

With prior posts on the Quaker Oats guy and Charles in Charge, I think I'm officially declairing July to be my month of Blog-tastic Celebrity Fixation.

Celebrities I'd Most Like to be Friends With:
1. Scott Baio - he's just some quirkily messed up
2. Bret Michaels - he's actually kind of funny when he's not sticking his tongue down the throats of desperate women. We can test our blood sugar together, but there's no way I'm sharing needles with that human petri dish - Mama didn't raise no fool.
3. Robbie Williams - whilest recently profiled on MTV Cribs, he broke out with "giz-arden" and "this is where I keep my pants," all with a lovely little accent. The Sound of Music party in the $150,000 home theatre just sealed the deal.
4. Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs guy) - so I can fix him up with my mom
5. Ben Folds - I'd like to learn how to play piano
6. Will Ferrell - he's funny Pearl the Landlord video that everyone has already seen but that I still love

They are all boys. That's weird. I guess that's because I have all the wonderful girl friends a gal could ever need - awwww!!!

I Love Scott Baio

2007-07-18T22:18:00.000-04:00

That's all for today.

Wilford Brimley is the voice of my people

2007-07-06T17:00:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Roommate Kirkwood for forwarding this to me. I have a new lease on life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATIE MUSAR!!

2007-06-28T17:02:00.000-04:00

There once was a sister named Katie
If a pirate, she'd be me matey
She's my teacher of cool
And an asset to every school
On a scale of 1 to 10, she's an 80

Dear Paris Hilton's Parents,

2007-06-28T07:40:00.000-04:00

Your daughter just went on Larry King and said that she needed jail to "make her grow up." She needed to go to JAIL to get some perspective and mature a little.

Maybe you didn't do so well in raising her.

Kisses,
Lizzie

Another reason why Apple continues to float my boat

2007-06-24T19:45:00.000-04:00

I give you the joys of Photo Booth -

All brought to you by Katie Musar, Long Island hostest with the mostest.

One more thing

2007-06-13T07:07:00.000-04:00

A very sad day today, Mr. Wizard has passed away.

I'd like to thank Mr. Wizard for teaching me that:
- you're taller lying down than standing up
- a feather and a quarter fall at the same rate in a vacuum
- you can suck an egg into a bottle using a match and an adult's supervision

Election Update

2007-06-13T06:57:00.000-04:00

My guy lost by a landslide.

Turn out = 4.5%

The tagline for the Arlington Sun Gazette Newspaper (which I didn't know even existed until today):
"Reaching the most affluent audience in the DC metro area."

Ugh.

Well, 4.5% of the people spoke and that's that.

I voted for change

2007-06-12T09:47:00.000-04:00

I voted for the guy that says everyone wants him to lose. He wants to push the limits of the position to really act as an advocate for Arlington's citizens. He has no chance of winning. And the other guy just seems too comfortable. He's stopped trying.

Also, the other guy has this horrible youtube video up with the Chairman of the Arlington County Board of Directors endorsing him and saying that no one is going to be voting in the primary, so at least you won't have to battle the lines at the polls. I don't know when I get to vote against this guy, but it's on. Maybe I'll even run against him. Voter apathy is not an appropriate marketing tool, dude.

A crisis of democracy

2007-06-12T08:08:00.000-04:00

There is an election today in Arlington, VA. The Democratic primary is being held from 6 am to 7 pm, and there is only one contested seat on the ballot - Arlington County Treasurer. Two men who don't appear to like each other very much are running the Democratic nomination. I may be the only person intending to vote who doesn't already personally know these guys, because there doesn't seem to be any information about their actual views. What's a voter to do when all she knows about the candidates is they don't like each other?

So here's the crisis - this is a local election. There's no real advertising (I only found out about the election because of Rachel's astute eye spotting a school board sign on the road), the election has received limited press and none of it is focused on educating the voting public. It's all about the antagonism between the two.

Local politics is where the action happens and where the founders intended for the governing to happen, but there's nothing to help a voter out. Have we all adopted a not-in-my-backyard mentality when it comes to politics? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, people!! Why are we only paying attention to the governing body that is most removed from its constituent body?

So, I'm going to the polls today, and I'll cast my vote based on what I've learned during my 25 minutes of exhaustive research. Assuming that they let me vote without my missing voter registration card. I guess conviction only gets you so far.

Yo, yo, where my WASPs at?

2007-06-06T07:58:00.000-04:00

In the fine tradition of Dynamite Hack, I give you the new ad campaign for another kooky not-vodka Smirnoff drink -

Hushed Tones Drive Musar to Madness

2007-05-24T08:14:00.000-04:00

You know, good for Ann Curry for getting the Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt interview, but if she doesn't stop feigning this intimate friend/confessor relationship with the poor woman, I'm gonna scream. Ms. Jolie isn't buying it, and neither is anyone else. Use your big girl voice, Ann, speak at full volume and just ask questions.

Some 2 am comments from the kitchen

2007-05-13T02:16:00.000-04:00

Hi all - I'm hanging out in my mom's kitchen at 2 am. Since I'm not very sleepy, but I can't think of an indepth topic to write about, here's a list of random thoughts that have floated through my head today:

1. When I first got my job (well, my first job there since I'm now on number two) way back in April, 2005, I remember that I was really excited because I was going to able to afford to shop at Banana Republic. I don't know what kind of crazy crack I was smoking because, after three raises and a couple bonuses, I still will not in good conscience plop down $88 on a neutral tone shirt. I'm not sure why I thought greater access to cash would lower my consumer standards.

2. I just found out that one of my old mentees won the Weber Political Science Award, of which I am a former recipient. He was always one of my favorites. I hope he doesn't blow the prize money at Banana Republic.

3. Ghostbusters II is better than Ghostbusters I. But it's hard to believe that Bill Murray was ever a romantic lead.

4. The Lizzie Musar Apple Green iPod Mini lineage has been officially retired as I have just purchased a new white iPod with video. Its name is Fluffy Bunny and I am excited to be impressed with his battery life.

5. Thank goodness the kids of Towson can now enjoy the benefits of H & M, or rather their parents can enjoy the break on their credit cards.

6. I'm a terrible judger. Judge judge judge. But my judging happens on an entirely internal plane, I don't allow my judging to impact my opinions on social services, quality of life, or civil rights. I just think bad things sometimes, I don't act on them.

7. What does that say about me?

8. Honduras is beautiful and hot. Please let me know if you would ever like to go as I will glady fold myself into your luggage for a chance to get back to the jungle.

9. Sleeping under a mosquito net was a little like sleeping in prison. A fanciful fairy princess prison that empasized captivity with a sense of whimsy.

10. A haiku about Mother's Day:
Thanks for the birth, Mom
They say it's pretty painful
Been better since then?

Look at all the places I've been!!

2007-05-02T08:00:00.002-04:00

In other news, I'm taking applications for new immune systems as my current one is blowing through my vital organs at an alarming rate.

Oh white people, you don't get to lead anymore

2007-03-29T07:36:00.000-04:00

While this is rather painful to watch what with the wooden delivery and icky participants, it really picks up around minute 2 when the "dancing" starts.

Hey DC/NOVA drivers -

2007-03-29T07:14:00.000-04:00

I'm your friend. Your gas prices are lower because I'm not out there driving up demand with the rest of you. In return for this consideration, I ask one small favor.

LET ME CROSS AT THE CROSSWALK!!

If we happen to encounter each other at a crosswalk with no signal, help a sister out and let me go first. It's kinda the law.

The simple genius of Toothpaste for Dinner

2007-03-27T22:59:00.000-04:00

If I were to start a band

2007-02-25T18:51:00.000-05:00

It would be called "fatally relevant" and it would be an emo punk band, because as we all know "The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got."

Record companies take note - lowercase is key and a dealbreaker. It shows that we're humble.

I bring you the McRice Burger

2007-02-25T11:09:00.000-05:00

It's true, I have returned from my epic trek to and across Thailand! Needless to say, it was a fantastic trip! Buddhas, beaches, wicked high temperatures, and thrice-weekly massages appear to add up to the perfect vacation.

Natural beauty and cultural exploration aside, one of my favorite and most cherished Thailand memories was found just down the street from my adoped home in the Sathorn district of Bangkok. I'm not talking about the super-cool spirit house on the corner or even the grouping of working ladies and men that apparently came out after dark (I never saw them, though, so I think the Thai prostitution industry is more centralized in other parts of the city. Parts that good girls don't frequent.). No, I'm talking about the latest culinary delight cooked up by the McDonald's Corporation. I'm talking about THE MCRICE BURGER!!

First introduced to the concept by Mrs. Kristin Ritter, I could not wait to try this delicacy for myself. Below, I give you the pictoral replay of my introduction to unexpected deliciousness.

1. An ad piques my interest in this new concept. You'll note that the McRice Burger adheres to the three basic burger tenets:
1. A grain based bun - In this case, pressed rice patties
2. A meat or meat like filler - Thailand gives you the option of chicken or pork. Yum!
3. Ruffage - Lettuce AND colorful cabbage

2. A welcoming Ronald McDonald wai's me into my local franchise. Wai-ing is a Thai form of respect.

3. "Thanks, Ronald, don't mind if I do. I hear you've got a wonderful new Asian treat that my Anglo tastebuds just can't wait to try!"

4. An ingenius marketing concept, the McRice Burger box is not only stylish, but also functional - it's designed to also be a useful sandwich holder.

4. Chicken or pork? I want an experience; I'll go for pork!

5. Look at all that goodness.

6. I take a moment to mentally prepare.

7. Words have literally failed me, though I hope this picture properly conveys my culinary delight.

8. A truly satisfied customer, and, dare I say, a lifelong convert to the temple of the McRice Burger.

Haiku about Thailand

2007-02-15T20:15:00.000-05:00

(Blogging from Krabi, on the Andaman Coast of Southern Thailand)

Buddhas, beaches, sun
Will the temp'rature please fall?
I'll stay regardless.

Currently weighing my options about extending my trip.

Notes from a Tokyo airport

2007-02-07T05:10:00.001-05:00

Hi all! I'm in Narita International Airport in Tokyo. My flight to Bangkok has been slightly delayed (eh, what's four hours between allies? Gives 'em more time to get my bag on the new plane!), so I've had some time to explore the Japanese retail aviation scene. Here are my observations so far:

1. Place your money in the little tray on the counter, not in the saleslady's hand. She won't know what to do with it if you put it in her hand. It will throw her for concentration. This also just seems like a more polite way of handling things.

2. I heart Japan for one simple reason - my grilled squid for dinner came with a side of mayo for dipping! Dipping mayo, just like Canada! It was beyond delicious.

3. There is a wonderful store call Comme Ca. If I had a lot of money to blow, I would spend it there. Lots of t shirts with Japanese characters saying odd things in English.

4. The English translations are very good and get the point across, but still make me giggle. "Make a 100 yen coin to commence me up" = "Please insert 100 yen to begin Internet service."

5. The Japanese have taken candy to a whole new level. Everything looks so sickeningly sweet and gooey'ed that even if I could eat it, I probably wouldn't. But I like to stare at it.

6. Japanese airport shopping mean Hermes, Coach, and Versace. To

Thailand 2k7 Resolutions

2007-01-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

So I leave for Thailand is less than one week. In fact, I leave for Thailand in 6 days and 15 hours. I think we can all safely assume that this is going to be a trip unlike any other in the life of Lizzie Musar, so I've taken the liberty of making a few resolutions before I go.

1. I will not walk around Thailand with my iPod in my ears.
This may be the only time that I will ever walk the streets of Bangkok and beyond, and I don't want to miss the sounds of Thailand because I was too busy listening to John Mayer. In fact, I won't even bring my iPod with me. If anything, I'll bring my recently rediscovered discman so I can buy and rock out to the foreign hip hop I always end up becoming facinated with when I travel overseas.

2. I will sample whatever food is placed in front of me.
Including dog, if it comes to that. This may be a vicious rumor, but the good people of Southeast Asia may have been eating dog, cat, and any other cute animal for a long time now, so it's probably safe. There is nothing separating a dog or monkey from the fish that I just ate for dinner, so I will embrace the culture of my hosts (not Kristin Ritter, who has most decidedly NEVER eaten dog).

3. I will not go cheap.
Granted I have things to save for and it's never a good idea to waste money, but I don't think I'll regret spending some extra cash to experience all that I can during my two weeks in Thailand.

4. I will overcome my hated of touch and indulge in many fine massages.
Some of you know that I do not like to be touched. Well, I'm going to the capital of threapeutic massage and my neck and left shoulder have been hurting me for the past month. Coincidence? I think not.

I think that's probably enough for now.

My Academic Experience at McDaniel College

2007-01-14T12:44:00.000-05:00

I just found the CD that now contains all of my old papers from school. I'd like to now sum up these exercises by demonstrating the two common threads I have discovered:

Two Hours More of Mario Kart Can't Hurt:
The Endless Procrastination of Elizabeth Jean Musar and Her Subsequent Need to Pull Genius from Her Bum

I had a real problem with distraction and compound titles. Some might call it an addiction.

In related news, I found the article that I wrote for the Phoenix/Free Press that encouraged people to vote so they would be more attractive to the opposite (or same, whatever floats your boat) sex. While most of it is pretty bad, I enjoyed this closing section immensely -
Remember to always practice responsible voting. Vote sober, vote safely with appropriate ballot box protection, and always make sure Election Night activities are consensual. If you think you need a little practice harnessing your inner voter sexiness before Nov. 5th, the debates start Sept. 30th. Happy Voting!

I am a diabetic GENIUS!!

2007-01-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

While at the gym yesterday, I had to test my blood sugar. I do this all the time. For the uninitiated, it involves using something that looks like a pen to poke your finger, then load the resulting drop of blood onto a little disposable strip that sticks out a machine that's about the size of the palm of your hand. It all looks like this:

It may not seem like a pain (except for the poking part), but it can be. Having to take out two little machines 6-10 times a day is not only inconvenient, but it's pretty conspicuous with all the visible blood and large electronics.

So, I give you this - THE ALL IN ONE, SELF-CONTAINED BLOOD GLUCOSE TESTING SOLUTION!!

It's pretty sweet, and while I don't quite understand how it would work, I have high hopes for my little contraption. See, you prick your finger and suck up the blood with the same little pen device. The strips are still disposable, and you load in a bunch of them at once. One stick out for each test, then gets thrown away. The whole thing can be kept in a small padded carrying case, and take the whole process from 5 steps to about 2 steps.

As my gift to the world, I'm not going to patent my idea. There's no way that I could produce this thing, and I'd much rather that someone at Accu-Chek get on this right away so that I can start using it. Perhaps they can name it after me.

Survey not about James Bond

2006-12-19T21:14:00.000-05:00

This could be my favorite survey ever - it's about music and justifying things!!

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie
7. Added by Courtney: comment on the songs, cuz that's what makes this interesting.

Opening Credits:
Edson Corderio - Ave Maria by Theivery Corporation
A decidedly techno song to open the film, my life story will be edgy and dramatic in ways that only hipsters and college kids will understand. The sampling of Ave Maria, though, gives it a wider base and a more approachable feel that even the old timers can get down with. Just like me, my life story will walk the line.
PS - I've never actually listened to this song, and I now hate it.

First Day of School:
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
Soaring orchestral arrangements leading into all too earnest lyrics about troubles and hope. Apparently my first day of school has me being taught by Bette Midler whose first unit is on How to Follow Up Wing Beneath My Wings With Something Even Sappier
PS - Another one I've never listened to and probably never will again. Oh my God, there's a gospel choir. Kill me now.

Falling in Love:
Remedy by Pete Murray (a rolicky good song by an earnest yet scruffy lyricist with a gift)
"And I will bring you roses big enough to brighten up your day." "You will be the sun, when you rise you start my day." "Can you be my remedy?"
Trapped in academic hell with Bette and the choir gals, I unexpectedly meet a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. He's smart and funny with an endearing, yet caustic wit. We bond over a mutual loathing of our feel-good education in soaring ballads, but quickly find that our affections go far beyond trading verbal barbs. He's not a rich kid, but he'll gladly offer his heart.

Fight Song:
Home - Marc Broussard
Ummm, when we fight, we slip into really deep octaves and demand to be taken home. And I'm always threatening to get on a "Greyhound that's Delta-bound."

Breaking Up:
All Worked Out - Semisonic
"She's got it all worked out in her mind, and you're part of the plan, and you don't have the final word."
Ohhh, this doesn't bode well for our fair couple. Apparently, I become a little overbearing. Terribly Earnest Boyfriend can't deal with my constant china pattern picking and questions about the future. We have to talk... And our talk ends with a dissidant chord.

Prom (aka one of many college shenanigans in formal dress):
All Things Keep Getting Better (Queer Eye) - Widelife
But I am not one to stay down in the dumps for too long - oh no! I am having fun! I am going to somebody's prom, and damnit if things aren't just getting better all over the place!

Life's Okay:
Drive (Live) - REM
"Hey kids, rock and roll, nobody tells you where to go." Lots of "what if" questions, all ending in "baby."
I'm becoming more secure with the uncertainty in my life and seeing it all as unending opportunity. I'm also building up quite the steely, electric guitary exterior based on prior experiences with Terribly Earnest, Can't Take It When Things Get a Little Serious and Runs Away Ex-Boyfriend.

Mental Breakdown:
Closer to Free - Bodeans
Free=break from reality, I guess. I find madness strangely liberating. I dance around my padded cell, exclaiming that everyone should try this mental instability thing out. It's great, and I've never been happier. I feel like I'm finally getting closer to my actually self. Hey, "I just wanna live like I wanna live and love like I wanna love", afterall.

Driving :
I Touch Myself - Eve6
Oh man, I'm apparently a distracted driver. I should really keep my mind on the road, but I guess that, following my recovery, I'm realizing that Terribly Earnest and Now Absent Ex-Boyfriend is also terribly missed.

Flashback:
True Dreams of Wichita (Live) - Mike Doughty
I'm either having a flashback of a show that absent boy and I went to together or this is montage of the happier times based around the line "You had it but you sold it."

Getting Back Together:
Banditos - Refreshments
"Well, it's you and me, baby, no one we can trust...Well, I got the pistol, so I'll keep the pesos...Put the sugar in the tank of the sherrif's car and slash the deputy's tires and they won't get very far when they finally get the word that there's been a hold up. Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people..."
Oh, it's us against the world again, but this time there are more felonous undertones. Present Again Boyfriend and I get back together, cross the border, and start our crime spree of love. And we go on great road trips because this is a great driving song.

(Before I play the next song, I just want to announce that I'm a little scared of what might come up. This is the most exciting survey I've ever taken!)

Wedding:
Casiotone Nation - Soul Coughing
A return to our indie rock roots - with a song that mentions "nipple clamps" no less! We declare ourselves citizens of the People's Republic of Our Love. And the DJ is playing a Casiotone keyboard. I don't know, this one is a real stretch, guys. Ok, here it is, "Yore, yore, he's a man, he's a man" - Boyfriend finally grows up and realizes that it's about time he made a commitment to something other than grand larceny.

Birth of a Child:
What Would You Say - Dave Matthews Band
"Every day has it's way of being forgotten - Mom, it's my birthday." I'm gonna be a bad mother.
-or-
"Rip away the tears
Drink a hope to happy years
And you may find
A lifetimes passed you by
What would you say
Dont drop the big one"
The birth will be hard, but we quickly turn to rejoicing our good fortune and hopes for the future. Best Husband Ever and I remember that we have one shot to get this right and before we know it, they'll be all grown up.

Final Battle: Firetruck live at Bonnaroo - Mike Doughty
With my child all grown up and Best Husband Ever and I just sitting around looking at each other, I become a volunteer firefighter so that I can drive the "FIRETRUCK...FIRETRUCK...FIRETRUCK" I battle fires and seal every investigation with one sweet chord. These fires are all apparently started by really high concert-goers still rocking out to my Birth of Child song, because really, nothing beats Under the Table and Dreaming.

Funeral Song:
School of Rock - Rockschool
My funeral rocks!!! Jack Black gone mainstream style! I assume I die fighting a fire.

End Credits:
Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
"Oh, where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to Heaven so I've got be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world."
The end credits reveal that this little movie of my life was actually a memorial created by my loving husband, who was really Eddie Vedder the whole time and we didn't even know it.

So, I'm not sure I held to the spirit of the survey. I hope that you have enjoyed this thoroughly fictional account of what could happen in the upcoming movie of my life. Or you're at least considering buying the soundtrack...

Umm, in case you're having trouble at the man store...

2006-12-19T20:45:00.000-05:00

There's an acceptable clothed model as well...

All I want for Christmas

2006-12-18T20:17:00.000-05:00

is this...

Now I think that if all you got together on this one, it shouldn't be that hard. Please deliver as soon as possible, no reason to keep him all cooped up before Christmas.

This is a lie! I am not Toby!!

2006-12-03T11:22:00.000-05:00

Ahh, the ever-cynical and sarcastic speechwriter. Gutsy and not afraid to speak up or clash with authority, his dry wit is amusing. But under it all he's just a big teddy bear... and the world's biggest Yankees fan.

:: Which West Wing character are you? ::

I hate the Yankees. I am CJ. Come on, my middle name is Jean.

If you're looking for me from 2/6/07-2/20/07...

2006-11-21T23:39:00.000-05:00

I'll be in Thailand, baby!!!

Gettin' Back on the Survey Train

2006-11-19T21:35:00.000-05:00

So Courtney listed me as someone who had to do this silly survey. I haven't done one of these things in a long, long time, and given the new and more mature audience that my blog is now attracting (read: my mom, Aunt Ann, and Scotty Barnes), I may not be able to complete the thing for fear of what the other side will learn. But here goes...

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"...sure I'd care." Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
Just the air to the left of the couch. Or, if I'm living in the Celebrity Paranormal Project, the long dead spectre of a tortured chambermaid who died in my apartment in the 1920s.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The first hour of Elf.
"First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle."

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
9:36

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
9:35

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The last half hour of Elf.
"I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed 11 cookies in the VCR."

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Walking from Target back to my car earlier today.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Courtney's version of this survey.

9. What are you wearing?
My black track pants and the blue zip sweatshirt that reads "Merritt Athletic Club League Division Winner Fall 1985." It should probably be thrown out soon.

10. Did you dream last night?
I did. I dreamt that I discovered a hidden bathroom in my room inside a magical little alcove.

11. When did you last laugh?
"So, you like sugar, huh?"
"Is there sugar in syrup?"
"Yes"
"Then YES!"

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Wow, absolutely nothing. We haven't exactly gotten around to decorating the living room yet.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Deirdre's cat chasing its tail whenever I wash dishes. Owen Wilson's nose.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Not really worth all the typing, but better than a punch in the face.

15. What is the last film or video you saw?
The whole thing? Little Miss Sunshine - a fantastic movie.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I'd buy a ticket to Bangkok. Then a house, a Honda, and a Great Dane puppy.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have a blister on the bottom of my left foot. And I have to pee.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'd eliminate the influence of money and business in all local, national, and international politics.

19. Do you like to dance?
I have been known to dance party on occasion.

20. Comment to George Bush:
"He's an angry elf."

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Katie

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Jack

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
"You've done very well for yourself, Miss Musar."

25. 4 people who must also do this quiz on THEIR blog:
No, I won't be a survey pusher.

Hope you enjoyed! Good night!

The Pre-Election Day Post

2006-11-06T21:08:00.000-05:00

Hi everybody. Thought I'd chime in on this, the eve of many an important election across this great country. I have a lot of hope for this election day. I don't know if the tides will change and tables will turn, but I am almost positive that at the hateful TV ads will go away for another two years. I am also almost positive that either the Maryland or Virginia Senate races will end up going to court for a final resolution. Thanks to Heroes ("Save the cheerleader, save the world.") I'm having some trouble with coherency right now, so here a few randow thoughts about the democratic process:

1. This morning on the Today show, Bill O'Reilly said "War is a performance and hope is a policy." Now hold on a minute, the Republicans DO NOT get to steal the platform of optimism. The Republicans, who only know how to win votes by telling you there's something out there to be afraid of, CAN NOT try to become the party of hope. Republicans - downers, Democrats - irresponsibly idealistic. Republicans - party of no, Democrats - party of sure, but we don't know how.

2. I wrote my Political Science thesis two years ago (wow, two years ago) on the future of mandatory voting measures in the US. I spent a good bit of that paper defending a person's right to not vote. And I still do. But not voting is like not brushing your teeth. Of course you have the right not to do it, but why the hell wouldn't you want to? Educate yourself and vote, buy some tooth paste and brush away. Voting is free, too!

3. I think that the Mike Doughty song "Move On" best represents my feelings about America:
all of the words you can't say right
burn my ass with anger to no end
i love my country so much man
like an exasperating friend

yeah, i believe the war is wrong
don't believe that nations can be steered
lead the world by smarts and compassion
by example, not coercion, force and fear

down in the mouth and not half right
but i can feel the changes comin on
bloom like the flowers in bluest night
bloom like the sunlight in my song

4. And on one final note, please vote for my personal dreamboat, Martin O'Malley

Project Runway

2006-10-18T23:19:00.000-04:00

Aka Project Suckway. Project Completely-Ignore-That-Jeffrey-While-Very-Talented-Did-Not-Produce-The-Best-Collection-way. Project Uli-Was-Robbed-way.

But that's just my opinion. And probably the opinion of at least two of the judges. I'm just sayin'...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUSAN MUSAR!!!

2006-10-02T09:55:00.000-04:00

She's the coolest pussy cat around!

And now, a poem....

There once was a lady named Susie,
Who some inappropriately called a floozy.
With her friends at the beach,
And an amaretto sour within reach,
She's more accurately a little boozy.

Dear John McCain,

2006-09-22T07:17:00.000-04:00

Please stop going on television because I'm starting to become physically ill everytime I see you.

Thanks,
Lizzie
One of the ACLU members and Liberal Americans that you have so harshly turned on

Finger pricks and candy sticks

2006-08-19T22:53:00.000-04:00

(I just realized that the dirtiest of minds might misinterpret the above title as something less than pure...shame on you.)

The world of the littlest Musar was rocked earlier this week when I was diagnosed with diabetes. After spending a few weeks peeing more often than not, wanting to drink from every water fountain, firehose, and dirty puddle I passed, and having a nagging feeling that something wasn't right, my doctor's office confirmed that things were awry. My blood sugar was 468, apparently high enough to elicit a distressing sympathy from the lab tech and an equally distressing gasp from the doctor.

I didn't react much better. This was a really hard diagnosis for me to hear. I know a lot about the disease. I know I didn't want it, that's for sure. And being rather young, rather active, and not overweight, I didn't think I had to worry about it. I don't look like a grandmother, and I don't eat like a trucker, and I'm a healthy kid, so what's up with this?

Well, I guess it's not for me to know.

In the wake of this diagnosis, I've been moving between two emotional extremes. One, the "at least" syndrome. "At least this was figured out early." "At least I know something to begin with." "At least my face isn't covered in hairy moles." (Totally unrelated to diabetes, just something I wouldn't enjoy.)

The other - total and unrelenting anger, at everyone and everything. Overweight people on the street, you better believe I'm thinking bad stuff about you. Ditto for the super fat people on TV. My as yet totally unresponsive insurance company, there isn't a lot of love for you over here.

I hope that as I get used to this new lifestyle and start to feel a little more in control, I'll go back to being a good person.

Damnit, Justin Timberlake

2006-08-01T10:55:00.000-04:00

I was gonna bring Sexy Back!

(I'm sorry, but that runs through my head everytime I hear that song.)

My Social Experiment

2006-07-25T21:20:00.000-04:00

People of the Metro, people of the sidewalks, people of the public places - BEWARE!! I've got a plan to get things moving in DC.

There's an epidemic in this city, it's the people who exit a train or a building and just ... stop. They stop moving. They group together. They turn around to see what's behind them. They wait for people behind them. They just stop. And, trust me, I understand the need to make temporary stops while walking around, my mom is a notoriously slow walker and, unless I wanted to end up three blocks ahead of her, I would have to stop to let her catch up.

But what the DC stoppers don't realize is that you have to step to the side in order to appropriately stop walking in a busy place. This means moving to the side of the platform or sidewalk. Don't go through the Metro turnstile and just hang out. Don't step off the escalator, only to glue your feet to the now stationary floor. The floor doesn't work the same way as the escalator, you have to be a little more proactive with the floor, aka you have to WALK.

When people demonstrate any of the actions above, catastrophies result. Crash, bang, boom, accidents abound. It's not pretty, especially during rush hour on the Metro (which is actually about three hours in the morning and afternoon and evening, it's hard to find a time that isn't rush hour on the metro). All this willy-nilly stopping can be downright dangerous.

So here is my plan - I'm going to stop avoiding the stoppers. No longer will I stop short or quickly jump to the side to avoid a hall, platform, or sidewalk tumor. Oh no, I will continue on my path, I will walk right smack into you. I will not hesitate nor deviate from my already set trajectory, I will take you down. Well, not really, I won't try to hurt you, but trust me, you're gonna know when I knock into your stupidly stationary person. And I will not apologize, if anything, the only "I'm sorry" you're gonna hear is "I'm sorry, you were blocking the way."

I think that after a few weeks or months of this, my plan will develop into a thing, an urban myth, or something like that. The Post will run stories of the "Metro Manhandler" (oooh, terrible headline nickname, but I can't think of anything catchier right now). "Reports of subway altercations and assaults are increasing as it appears someone is walking around smacking into people. Events never escalate to violence, but patrons are left quite shocked as the unknown assailant admonishes them for clogging the sidewalk and then takes their leave. Indeed affected passengers and pedestrians have been so impacted by these episodes that they have vowed to observe the rules of public transportation and just keep walking while they are in the main travelway. Though the Washington Post does not condone violence in any way, we applaud this innovative and effective new approach to keeping DC moving."

Sure, I'll have to endure some bumps and bruises along the way, but I see great things coming from this plan. Great, great things.

Pirates?

2006-07-06T07:54:00.000-04:00

Am I really watching a story on the resurgance of pirates on the Today show? Is that a man in Pennsylvania saying that he actually is a pirate? Is there nothing else going on in America today? And when did Volvo become the vehicle choice of pirates? Pirates aren't concerned with safety, they was unadulterated speed. The Black Pearl didn't come with anti-lock brakes and side airbags, man.

I don't want to go to work today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATIE MUSAR

2006-06-28T08:31:00.000-04:00

She's the best sister ever!!!

Hey, did someone remember to grab the pair of unicorns?

2006-06-26T06:21:00.000-04:00

We've got a little 40 days and 40 nights action going on the DC metro area right now. I believe they are estimating about 300 inches of rain have fallen over the last 3 days. And it's not supposed to stop. All week is rain, rain, rain.

As a result and in true wrath of God style, we've got major flooding. A few things to note:
1. DON'T DRIVE THROUGH STANDING WATER. What is with you silly people who think that your Corolla can totally handle driving through that pond? It can't. It's gonna stall and then, when it's sitting their dead and immobile, the water will start moving. And as anyone who has taken Driver's Ed knows, it only takes 6 inches of water to move your car. So then you have to climb on top of the car, begging to be rescued from your perilous fate. All because you were impatient and wanted to drive through the big puddle. Resist the urge, drive around.

2. DON'T TRY TO DRIVE THROUGH FLOODED TUNNELS.
Facts:
- DC is built on a swamp. The ground is pretty soggy as it is and can't hold much more water.
- DC has a lot of rivers around it. Beyond being really dirty, they are also filled with a lot of water.
- DC has a lot of tunnels. True to tunnel form, they are underground.

So all of this water that's falling from the sun, it needs to go somewhere. Probably on the roads, right? And water tends to gather at the lowest point possible, right? So all the tunnels are flooded. FLOODED. Don't try to drive through them. It will end badly.

3. In this most recent plague of water, I'm just wondering who exactly God is trying to kill off this time? Interesting thought, huh? If you haven't checked it out yet, you should go read the "Blogging the Bible" feature on Slate.com. It's very amusing and educational. I personally think that this go-round of flood waters is aimed on Congress.

Time to grab my washtub and paddle, I gotta go to work! I wonder if my spanish class will still start tonight....

The "I Hate Moving" Post

2006-05-28T23:48:00.000-04:00

I hate it!! Hate it hate it hate it. Hate it in the kind of way that they told me not to in Sunday School when I was little. The packing and the categorizing, it's too much. I can't look at a fully lived in room and see it neatly packed into boxes. I can't see all of those boxes on the ground and then see them magically arranged in my car in the perfect configuartion. I think "moving" and all I see is a big, treacherous mountain. An unsurmountable....mountain.

And now a list:
My top 10 least favorite things about moving
10. My propensity to create piles.
Instead of moving, I seem to herd things. They don't leave the room, they just leave the place in the room where they were before. Very ineffective
(Note to Courtney - was going to write v. ineffective, but realized that people other than you now read my blog and they might be confused. Have probably underestimated the intelligence of these people, though.)
9. My fight or flight response when moving? If I don't think I'm going to use it in the next two weeks, I'm going to throw it out.
Makes perfect sense at the time, until it's a month later and I need my hair dryer, a bottle of lens solution, and that book I never finished reading.
8. The multiple day move
This type of moving is a big old tease. I get all prepared to pack and sort and toss, but then the three days that I have to do so start looking like an eternity, and why move when I can read a book, and who cares if that book should be packed in a box somewhere - let's go ride bikes!
7. Boxes
I hate them. I pack them too full and then I can't lift them. Then I have to unpack them, which just feels like defeat.
6. Your reward for successfully packing and moving all your stuff?
Unpacking it all. I cannot think of a more disheartening process. It's like writing a novel and then deleting it letter by letter.
5. My bed without sheets makes me sad.
4. Hangers.
I have yet to find a sane way to move hangers. I try to move them all orderly like. I try to keep them facing the same way. But it never works, and they always poke through the bag, get all tangled up, and scratch my leg while I'm carrying ten other things.
3. Unhanging, folding, packing, unfolding, re-hanging all of my clothes
Again, the doing and undoing action is not ying and yang to me, it's just painful.
2. Speaking of Yang
Bonnie has my Grey's Anatomy Season One, leaving me with little to entertain myself with while I pack. West Wing will suffice, but GA's absence is profound.
1. I don't know where I packed my clean underwear.
I see where my dirty laundry is, but have no idea what has become of the top drawer of my dresser. Now, I have to do laundry, which will create more to be folded and packed. Damn you, irony, damn you!!!

My fate is sealed, I move in just under 9 hours from now. Half of my room is packed, my stripped bed is covered in the stuff that I haven't packed (but have masterfully sorted into one big pile), and I am probably going to be sleeping on the floor in the living room, because there isn't the floor space in my room.

It'll be worth it in two weeks when I'm all unpacked, but until then, moving sucks.

Quick update to let you know I'm still alive.

2006-05-26T16:49:00.000-04:00

See, I am. Though, you can't see me, you'll just have to trust that I am in fact, still about.

I'm passing a few minutes in my sister's swanky apartment before I head back home. I gotta pack up my stuff before going to the train station. Trains....the preferred mode of travel when the other option is the bus.

Does anyone else think that the Julie Bowen Nutrogena self tanner commercial looks like she's been rolling around in mud? I do.

Sorry, this is really all I can muster right now. I have a lot of lying ahead of me in the two days - packing my apartment up, moving my apartment to my new apartment, GOING TO IKEA FOR THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR, unpacking my apartment, etc. It's a lot to think about. Perhaps I will take pictures to share with everyone.

Speaking of pictures, there's this beautiful place called Lake Tahoe, everyone should go there. Pictures don't do it justice.

Off to explore the Ikea website for a minute!

When left without supervision for too long

2006-04-30T23:42:00.000-04:00

My Puritan work ethic degrades into this -

My relaxed posture and causal attitude towards footwear should not be taken as indication that I am not doing my job. Oh no - that is my expense report that you seen on the screen before you. I think. I mean, there should also be receipts in front of me if I'm doing my expense report, and I remember them being there, they just didn't make it into the picture. But I am definitely doing WORK! You don't see Snood on that monitor.

A brief orientation to my cubicle for those of you who have never had the pleasure before. On the far wall you will see part of my Belizian parrot Pride poster. I ganked this from HR Kristin just so that I would have a little piece of Heather Kirkwood with me always. There are too many coffee cups in the picture, this is because I stockpile them until I actually HAVE to wash them. My self-imposed limit is three. The purple Nalgene bottle was a gift from my dear sister Katie Musar. It originally came filled with candy that was very difficult to get out. Now it gets filled up with water at least twice a day and, as a result, becomes my main contributor to inefficiency as I have to leave my desk every 30 minutes to pee.

All those papers in the trays to my left - we try not to think about those. Ditto the papers in front of the trays. The big black leather chair is the most recent addition to my cube and also the cause of my new attitude towards professionalism. Its days are numbered, but what wonderful days they have been.

You will also hopefully notice the very high wildlife contingent in my little "office." On the monitor you will see part of a carved wooden rhino, and though the picture does not show this, she is leading two baby rhinos as they make their epic trek across the wilds of my desk. We've already noted the Belize poster, but there is another that is not pictured. This one is a very early pre-Pride poster for saving the snow leopard, it makes me think of my mom. There is my little turtle made of shells that Maureen brought me back from Palau, and my very cool bumper sticker from the African Wildlife Foundation that says "Tusk Tusk, Poor Elephants." The flowers on top of the cabinet are fake...I'm not good with plants.

This was all brought to you by Heather "Too Good for Accounting" Murphy, a faithful reader and friend of the Elizabeth/Lizzie Musar blog. We were very lucky to catch her on film during a recent visit to my cube...she can be very elusive...

The Allergy Blues

2006-04-29T01:27:00.000-04:00

Blog readers, meet my mortal enemy - pollen. Tonight, as I sit in bed unable to sleep and unable to breathe, I am reminded yet again that nature blows.

Further evidence of my extreme narcissism - I chose this picture because the shape of the molecular structure reminds me of my hair. It's twisty spirals in some parts and straightaway waves in others. Incidently, the structure of insulin is very similar and also resembles my hair, as I announced loudly to my Women in Science classmates junior year. Ironic, talking about hair in a class about women breaking into a male-dominated field. Sadly, my experience in the class was dominated by mindless note-taking and the urge to end my suffering with my own pen.

Anyway, I'm sick. I've got the snot and the sneezes and the sore throat. And I am not a good sick person. I wallow. I complain and seek sympathy. And I don't take drugs because I'm concerned that one day, when I really need them, they won't work in my system anymore. So instead, I look a little more pathetic, cough a little louder, and hope someone will make me a cup of tea.

Right now, I would settle for chapstick and sleep, though.

And now, a haiku:
A violent wave breaks
the serene exterior
Don't sneeze in public!!

Oooh, I'm getting my hair chopped off on Sunday! Good bye pollen hair, you bring back too many painful memories...

Funniest thing I've seen all day

2006-04-25T07:46:00.000-04:00

Though it is only 7:45am, and my day has so far been dominated by the shower and the Today show...

I'd like to say that I've been in Spain for these many days

2006-04-23T21:11:00.000-04:00

But that would be a lie. I've just been a very delinquent poster.

My trip to Spain was wonderful - if you'd like to hear stories, please just ask. Here are a few pictures for us to remember my future home by.

In case you're looking for me

2006-03-08T10:24:00.000-05:00

I'LL BE IN SPAIN FOR THE NEXT 10 DAYS!!!!

Adios!!

Sometimes you don't need Quizilla

2006-02-20T00:07:00.000-05:00

I am a Meredith. Or at least I was, or have been. I fell into that horrible role (that no one enjoys, btw) of the bad best friend. The best friend who was supposed to remain lucid and caring while their counterpart was allowed to go on their rollercoaster of emotions. The best friend who thought that maybe getting on for one ride couldn't hurt, and wouldn't it be great for everyone if it turned into more. The best friend who was so enticed by the mere description of what to expect, that guards were let down, and not good things resulted.

Only bad people would enjoy this position. Or the reality of this position, I should say. Only bad people would want to hurt their friends for their own gain, even if that gain is just to feel a little better. For everyone else, the offer of unconditional love, of acceptance even when you weren't trying to be accepted, can be a whole lot to turn down. It can be too much to turn down. And that offer can cloud your judgment, it can make you hope for what isn't there, just as the other person is doing.

So it ends up just sucking for everyone. No one is happy, everyone's either been hurt by someone or by their own actions. Blame is getting thrown around and there isn't much in the way of explanation, because no one can really explain. "I just wanted to see" is pretty damn callous, "I wanted to at the time" is equally awful. "It just didn't work" is the only reasonable respone, but by no means an explanation or an answer.

Is Meredith a bad person? I don't think so. The random bar boys were not her attempt to control men or hurt men, she just needed some attention. SHE IS NOT TRYING TO HURT GEORGE. She is going to hurt him, and hopefully that will tear her up inside as some tiny form of penance, but I honestly feel, in the bottom of my Grey's Anatomy loving heart, that she heard George's declaration and fell in love with the sound of it. She became attracted to the way that he made her feel, but not really to him. The former can be just as hard to ignore, though, and we should all remember that.

In other news, I realized today that I'm completely afraid of the military. What with working next to the Pentagon, living next to the nation's capital, and constantly bumping in to these uniform clad, mission-driven, possibly brainwashed hoards people who are FAR stronger than me, I am more than slightly skittish around them. Cammos freak me out more than dress uniforms. Women more than men because I feel like they are better undercover than the men. I'm not wholly convinced that they aren't all a separate alien race, domesticated by Republicans into projected a false picture of security while all the time monitoring and recording every human movement on Earth. I'm not wholly convinced that these GIANT groups of armed people saying the same thing at the same time are really there for my benefit. It's not the agenda of the administration that scares me (though it certainly does), it's the mindset of this mass of people. They do what they are told. That can't be good.

Peace out, kids, I can't take this post anymore. Thanks if you stuck through it all.

A few thoughts before bed...

2006-02-12T23:17:00.000-05:00

1. Story number one on the evening news - Dick Chaney accidentally shoots his friend in the face while hunting. That's right - guns don't kill people, Dick Chaney kills people. But we all knew that already. There isn't even irony here, just a sick, sick undeniable truth that HE SHOT SOMEONE. And the quail got away anyway. I say good for quail. As for the poor, millionaire lawyer who got shot in the face, that's what happens when you fraternize with Republicans.

2. Only ONE meterologist is necessary for each network newscast. Really, the whole "weather team on the street" is just a waste of bored camera men and airtime. Maybe, had the entire eastern seaboard's investigative journalism force not been so wrapped up in Snowy February 2006, we would have known that THE VICE PRESIDENT HAD SHOT SOMEONE a little sooner. Also, do you think that it's good for Weatherman #4's only job to be going outside in the parking lot and sticking a ruler in the snow. This can't be good for his self-esteem.

3. They blew up Early Edition! I watched him get BLOWN UP and Meredith got all of his pink mist on her. I should have known when they brought up the whole pink mist thing to begin with, my fault. The show was fantastic except for the fact that it's a giant tease. Actually, it's worse than tease, but I can't use that word here because my mom reads my blog :). All that build up, all that emotion, and then he comes over to tell her that he's glad she didn't die, and that her hair smelled like flowers. Seriously? Cause that's not cutting it. I needed some sustained meaningful eye-contact. Something!

And now I'm going to bed, where I may dream about bomb squads, unfulfilling relationships, and George cradling a very pregnant Dr. Bailey as she yelled at him for checking out her coochie-snoorcher.

G'night!

Military musings

2006-01-23T19:46:00.000-05:00

You may have heard about this movie Annapolis. It's a pretty, little dramatization of life at the Naval Academy in, wait for it, Annapolis, MD. I admit, I have not yet seen this movie, I don't even think that it's out yet. But the ad got me thinking...

Military academies are an interesting blend of two very opposite worlds. On one hand, a military training base. Discipline, obedience, rank, and order at paramount to the success of this base. Men and women are brought together, brokendown, and built back up as the ideal soldier. Those who do not conform to the ideal are made to feel their inadequacy. It's a society built on doing exactly what you are told, doing it better than the guy next to you, and rising to rank where you can then issue the orders. Sounds a lot like the modern business environment of ass-kissing and promotion, but the key difference is that ingenuity and initiative to make the old way better is rewarded in the business world, whereas it's angrily dismissed in the military world. The status quo is the order of every day. And it appears pretty damn efficient. Someone gets told to do something, they do it, and it's done. Except when Congress gets involved, then things just get all mucked up.

On the flipside of the military academy experience - the university model. Students of the military academies are just that, students. They take courses in math, science, public policy, and the liberal arts. In this college system, students are taught to challenge that which they are told, to form their own opinions, and defend them loudly for the sake of good argument. Obviously, as a graduate of this system, I'm more familiar with it than the military model. For the most part in these schools, non-military classes are taught by civilian professors.

So here's the thing - does one compliment the other? They seem at odds with each other. Does the student know when to turn one instinct on and the other one off? If one takes a stronger hold in the student, how does that affect the other aspect? Does a really great soldier need to know how to analyze Chaucer, and does a really great literary mind need to know how to take or give an order? Is a military education meant to foster the independent thinking soldier, or just a more civilized soldier? Are the officers produced that much better? What's the benefit of a well-rounded soldier when all their country needs them to do is fire where told, secure hills where told, and investigate threats where told?

Of course, there's the little problem of military leadership. When you're in a system that relies on obedience to rise through the ranks, at what level does the "Respond with own thought now" instinct come back to the soldier? Is it when the lives of others are put in their hands? Does the study of political theory help with this responsibility? I've studied a ridiculous amount of political theory, and none of it could tell me how to place someone else's life on the line. Maybe I didn't play close enough attention.

I've a few academy guys who are, for the most part, the independent thinking guys. I think this was a bit of a disadvantage for them. They question everything and I think have found the academy life that much more difficult. I've known one rank and file, recruiting poster soldier, he's done very well and has nothing but contempt for those troublesome thinkers in his class. He also has nothing good to say about the liberal arts classed he's forced to take as part of his well rounded military education.

I've know one academy girl, but she was kicked out for not portraying the "morals of a modern soldier." She was kind of a slut and that was against the rules, so off she went.

It's a life that I'll probably never understand (military academies, not slut-hood. Not that I claim any real expertise in that area either.), and one I don't think I'd be welcomed into either. "Why" is just too engrained in my vocabulary, I think.

Sidenote - these very dedicated people defend my sorry, skeptical butt every day. So thank you.

Update

2006-01-08T14:06:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the World, Slimer II

Stupid classical music station, not playing Kelly Clarkson ever. You still suck.

The Karmic 1 - 2 Punch

2006-01-04T21:51:00.000-05:00

First, a run of particularly bad luck...
1. My beloved apple green iPod mini, Slimer, has happened upon a bump in his short life. He finds himself unable to hold a full battery charge. He tries and he tries and he tries, but all he can muster is a mere 30 or so minutes before the battery icon of death comes on and Slimer slips into a quiet coma. Compared to his promised 18 hours of battery life, this is a bit disappointing.

After a long talk with the Apple "genius" at the Clarendon store, Slimer is currently being held for testing. I can't say what unspeakable things they will do to him, but I have been told that I will almost certainly be receiving a new iPod as a replacement for my poor broken Slimer shell. I'm not sure how I feel about this turn of events. I love my Slimer, I'm getting used to the idea of Slimer II.

2. Z104, Washington's modern music radio station, has flipped to a classical format. My favorite radio station, my standby, crappy pop music, as comfy as an old pair of jeans, Kelly Clarkson at least 40% of the day radio station is gone. GONE!! Faithful readers of my blog/fans of my life will remember that this is not the first time I have been so betrayed by the radio - last year, radio station of my youth and angsty identity, 99.1 WHFS, was tragically flipped to an entirely Spanish language format. To add insult to injury, one of my favorite songs was the last HFS song to be played before the El Zol craziness began. This latest betrayal did not hurt any less. Z104 was my favvorite, it played everything I would if I owned a radio station, and that is not something that I am particularly proud of, but the loss still hurts.

One of the reasons that I'm so distraught over this is because of the manner in which radio stations are flipped. These transitions are often abrupt and unannounced. Until 11:59 am, everything is the same as it was. Then at 12pm, the station goes quiet and returns with a totally new format. It sucks! It's jarring and disrespectful to the faithful listeners of a radio station. It's disrespectful to the employees of a radio station, especially the on air talent, who frequently are not informed that they will be losing their jobs until the day of the switch. Station flipping treats a station, the audience, and the personalities as disposable commodities, and in a medium as personal as music, that's pretty rude. The mega-radio corporataions - Clear Channel and Infinity - are businessmen of the worst kind; they've forgetten that they rely on their customer and staff for everything that they have. They see only the bottom line of their own profits.

Perhaps this is my "evils of capitalism" speech. It is a classic tale of profits over people. Perhaps I only care because I'm personally affected. Perhaps I really don't want to pay for satellite radio. Regardless, it's a crappy situation that wasn't communicated well and has definitely left a little void in my life.

The karmic portion of this tale of woe - I think this is all a bit of payback for my days as an illegal downloader. I stole music, I'm sorry. But it was all bad music that no one really wanted. It was probably stuff that iTunes would give away for free anyway. We're talking old Ryan Adams and Aqua, "Barbie Girl." But that doesn't matter. I still broke the rules, I took something that wasn't mine simply because it was easy and saved me some cash. And now I'm being punished by the universe. My lifeblood, good music to singalong to in the car, is being drained from me and there's little that I can do. I'm certainly open to ideas from the public on acceptable pennance to end this streak. Or maybe another radio station to program into preset 1.

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

2005-12-27T22:45:00.000-05:00

So goes an incredible song written by Leonard Cohen and successfully covered by many, many others, but none so well as Jeff Buckley. This is a song that I feel very close to for some reason that I can't quite explain. The lyrics are beautiful, but I'm sure that it's Buckley's voice that continues to draw me in. His vocals have the ability to keep me hooked through all 7 minutes of the song, even when I've lost the ability to sing along. The lyrics are just esoteric and intellectual enough to make me feel smart for catching, and are grounded in enough real life heartbreak and uncertainty to keep me invested. The meaning of their words has been debated by many - some say Cohen was writing a tale of love from the Bible, others say it's an allegory of alienation. I will never know. I don't even care to venture a guess. This song makes me glad that it was written. It makes me glad that so many have stumbled upon it, and that I could be one of them. At different points in my life, I have identified with different sections. But I've always listened to the whole thing. It will always stand out to me as one of those perfect songs. They rarely come by, so I'll hold on to this one. As well as "Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley, also a great song.

Brief sidenote - as a testament to the far-reaching love of this song, it's been featured in at least three end of episode, important-reflective-things-happening-now montages on very good TV shows, most notably "House" and "West Wing." The WW usage actually had me in tears, big, blubbery (OK I also had the flu) tears. I don't know why it's the underground touchstone of a few generations, but I think there's more going on in this song than we hear on the surface.

I heard there was a secret chord
That david played and it pleased the lord
But you don't really care for music, do you
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah .... .

Baby i've been here before
I've seen this room and i've walked this floor
I used to live alone before i knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you
But remember when i moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Well, maybe there's a god above
But all i've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....

The genius of the McKim Yates

2005-12-14T22:44:00.000-05:00

Picasso painted
our last fling. But this time I
want Georgia O’ Keefe.

~ Courtney McKim Yates

Far too cold to go to work today

2005-12-14T07:59:00.000-05:00

Is this a legitimate excuse for skipping work? It's literally painful to go outside today. My hair is wet and will probably stay wet for the next few hours. If I were still in school, I'd probably skip class. There is no good reason to subject oneself to such pain.

I wish I could staple things to Katie Couric's face. "I am a waste of space and airtime." "Have you seen some of my turly horrendous haircuts?" "What - you don't enjoy my opinion on every story I present?" She is doing wonderful things for colon cancer, though.

Need to get dressed. Again, no desire to move. Would prefer to sit here forever, dropping the subjects out of all of my sentences.

In slightly happier news, I can now complete a whole sodoku puzzle by myself! I find that sodoku is a lot like life - if you stick with it and have someone subtly pointing out your mistakes, you'll eventually prevail.

I'll leave you with that.

Agoraphobia or simple anger?

2005-12-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

If you have ever had the joy of going out in public with me, especially a public plagued by large crowds, I'm sure you will attest to the fact that I become a little skittish around all of the people. Skittish isn't exactly the word, actually. Uncontrollably rage filled, that's probably more accurate.

I don't know why, but I hate all of the people. I don't like crowds, especially because they all gather directly in front of me. And then they mossie along, enjoying the sights. We all have a mission in life, people, and you're slowing me down!! If I'm shopping, my mission is stop shopping as soon as possible. Please get out of my way. A sidewalk or hallway is not an appriopriate place to stop and hang out with your friends or your children or your skeevy boyfriend/girlfriend. The mall is a place with a purpose, not aimless gathering. You are hall tumors, a plague on all of society.

I know that I am not special. Just because I want to walk faster than everyone else doesn't mean that they should all bow down to my whims. But it does make good fiscal sense that the stores of the mall should work to keep the crowds moving along. Just like with the moving sidewalk at the airport which gets people point A to point B faster, holiday shoppers should be shuffled along these congested mall walkways. Much like the bullet train attendants of Japan's overcrowded commuter systems, malls could hire armies to keep the crowds moving. This would serve the stores' purposes by ensuring that the maximum amount of eager shoppers would pass by their windows. The malls wouldn't have to worry about creating more parking spaces because people wouldn't be wasting time taking up spaces. Everyone would be happier and probably spend more money, helping the economy. It's really a fantastic solution. I think I need to take this idea somewhere.

Excessive you say?

2005-12-06T19:45:00.000-05:00

That's our Christmas tree. And that's Brendan for reference. Our Christmas tree is absolutely gigantic. The spirit of Christmas is alive and well within Apt. 2401 - and it's threatening to overtake anything that gets too close.

There are big plans for this tree - lights, popcorn, and come January 5th, a trip off our fourth floor balcony cause there is no way that sucker is going back down the elevator.

Dear Mom,

2005-11-16T22:13:00.000-05:00

I love you very much. Please do not read the post below.

Love,
Lizzie

"Good for you"

2005-11-16T21:44:00.000-05:00

- What Tad Hamilton, Hollywood movie star, says to innocent little Rosalie after she rejects his advances and tells him that she should be getting home rather than stay with him at his place prior to wedding, second date, or even second base.

I hate this. I hate it when boys act all superior and knowing after a girl makes the smart move and doesn't hook up with them. To stay with him would be against her better judgement, so she says "I/you should leave." AND HE TAKES CREDIT FOR THE GOOD DECISION/PRETENDS TO VALIDATE HER GOOD DECISION/MAKES BELIEVE THAT HE KNEW SEPARATION WOULD BE THE SMART AND IDEAL OPTION. He didn't!!! Oh, no, he got shut down. He was rejected. But with his "Good for you, xxxx" he becomes the all-knowing dominate male, still issuing validation and approval on a woman who JUST REJECTED HIM.

I'm sorry, I have experience with this. How dare you undercut the power that I showed by making the mature, adult choice by telling me that it's ok??? I don't need your approval, I already got it when you invited yourself into my pants. Your only job now is to be hurt. To be hurt and realize that I am better than you.

Were you trying to take advantage of me with the initial advances, is that why you were so impressed when I rebuffed them? Did you think that I was some weak-willed, easily controlled little girl who you could have your way with? Surprised that it wasn't as easy as you thought?

WELL DON'T MAKE YOURSELF FEEL ANY BETTER BY CLAIMING MY VICTORY. I TURNED YOU DOWN, I SHOWED SOME COURAGE, I MADE THE SMART DECISION, IT WAS ME NOT YOU. YOUR ONLY ROLE IN THIS LITTLE SCENE WAS TO BE THE REJECTED ONE.

DON'T THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO STEAL MY THUNDER!!!!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

2005-11-16T10:56:00.000-05:00

I've been a bad, bad blogger. I am still alive. I am still here. Nothing really new to report.

I got all my hair chopped off in the cutest way. Go to the myspace page to see - http://www.myspace.com/5153145, alas I don't think I have the picture on my computer.

That's really about it. I'm up to my eyes in work I don't really want to do, so I'm gonna get to that. Good bye all, I promise more later if you will still have me.

Side note: This entry's headline reminds me of the abusive relationship game that Courtney and I used to play. Perhaps we are a little to irreverant for our own good....

I am a terrible employee

2005-10-25T18:44:00.000-04:00

Not only did I bail on attending our super fancy event in New York this evening, I am sitting at my desk blogging right now. I have done about 18 minutes of actual work all day. The rest of the time, I was aimlessly surfing the interweb. I wonder if this infernal computer has Spider Solitaire. Oh, it does, that might be the 4-5 pm hour of today.

I am currently listening to a streaming recording of Mike Doughty in DC from September. Good show. God bless those people who record shows and put them on the internet for the rest of us. I think this little file might have saved my life. I was seriously contemplating jumping out of the window (we're only on the second floor, I would have just hurt my knee more) if I didn't find something to break up the monotony of the day.

For those of you wondering - October sucks. It's a month of rain, and drearyness, and distracting contemplation. October is one of those months that makes you wonder about yourself. The weather is so halfheartedly crappy. There aren't snowstorms or heat waves to distract you, just a semi-permanent rain and a just cold enough to make you uncomfortable temperature. It's enough to make you think heavy thoughts. If I lived somewhere else, would I be happier? Am I just muddling through, or am I actively seeking the next phase of life? Am I a happy person? Am I ok if I'm not a happy person? The weather doesn't give you any excuse to not question yourself; it's just as ambivilent and unsure as you are. Boo to the rain and leaves on the ground. How are we supposed to remain upbeat if nature can't?

This song's called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train" or spring, whatever.

This brings to an interesting point that I've been ruminating on lately. So I saw Mike Doughty twice this weekend with my Mike Doughty and general cool music tutor, Katie Musar. After releasing his album on a bonafide label and pulling together a band to tour with, Mike Doughty has left the singer-songwriter universe. He is an act now, profiled in magazines and everything. And the show has changed. He no longer plays Only Answer, a tragedy in my opinion. Nothing seems spontaneous anymore, it's all been worked out with the other band members ahead of time. There is a new jam band element, which may be really cool for some people, but I think I prefered the banter and made up word bridges of the solo Mike Doughty. I am more lyrical than musical, and I think the music has taken over the show. Which is probably good. Anyway, amidst all the changes, he still says everytime, "This song is called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train"." Strange that that is the thing that stays.

My favorite song "I Hear the Bells" is playing right now, but I'm afraid to skip back at the end of it - the precious gift of the streaming show could be lost if I disrupt it, just like when the boys on Friends got free porn. You don't mess with the gift, man.

Does anyone remember my old blog? Or what I wrote about? I wish that it hadn't gotten deleted, I like to look over that stuff years later.

OK, work.

Grey's Anatomy is the best show ever

2005-10-16T21:57:00.000-04:00

And this post is going to be rather fragmented as I am currently engrossed in said show, therefore only able to write during breaks. I have my priorities, people.

Oh my goodness, such a good show. It raises the important questions, like can the loves of our lives be terrible people and yet still be the loves of our lives? I don't know. The love of your life is supposed to be good for you. They aren't supposed to be evil, adulturous bitches or bastards. They are supposed to make you feel happy and wonderful and like being a better person. They are supposed to bring out the best in you, and someone who habitually hurts you only brings out pain. But there are plenty of people who say they are head over heels in love with people who hurt them time again. I think that's when you have to ask yourself why. Why do you keep sticking around? That isn't love. It's against the very definition. But persuasive, nonetheless.

Why is Izzie going out with Dr. McJerkFace? Couldn't the writers please take 10 minutes out of their day and write two good story lines for Izzie and George, possibly placing them in a bed together, just to see how things develop.

In other medically related news, my left knee has rebelled against marathon training. I cannot walk. I am immobilized with pain. On a scale of one to ten, I want a new knee. The preliminary diagnosis is runner's knee or ilibibital patelialetical something or other. Long and short of it, my high arches, strong quads and weak thighs have pulled the knee cap to the outside, cause lots and lots of pain. And here's the thing about the pain - IT NEVER GOES AWAY. I got it sitting, standing, walking, sleeping. My knee has gone all kinds of grindy and now it talks to me in a strange mumbly hobbit language. Anyway, we shall see how training progresses from here on out. In the meantime, I'm walking like the young Forrest Gump.

Oh that George! He just lost Meredith's mother.

Ok, this has now failed to keep my interest. Back to Grey's Anatomy full time.

Just wanted to you all to see my work desktop photo

2005-10-06T17:34:00.000-04:00

I want one, really really badly. I think it's an interesting comment on my propensity for affection that scars.

Ode to my Mom

2005-10-03T23:14:00.000-04:00

There once was a lady named Pussy Cat,
Her friends say she's all that.
With kitties a plenty,
She's bright as a new penny,
To her we tip our hat.

-OR-

There once was a woman named Sue,
Two lovely daughters she brought through.
Finding each one a brat,
Now she's sticking to cats,
Who leave her gifts of poo.

Won't you help to sing these songs of freedom?

2005-09-23T07:15:00.000-04:00

To the people reading this blog - I don't know your personal politics. You're probably one of my friends, so I have a good feeling, but I am trying to be far from presumptuous.

I am reasonably certain that you don't like war though, especially needless wars fought almos entirely for naught and at the cost of tens of thousands of lives around the world. Only scary people wars like that.

If you find yourself in this bad war-hating, peace-loving, humanity-embracing category of good folk, I suggest that you come out to the GIGANTIC RALLY TO END THE WAR IN IRAQ in DC tomorrow afternoon and evening. Highlights to include - the largest protest and march during the entire conflict, a bunch of great speakers including Cindy Sheehan, great bands during the accompanying concert, and JOAN BAEZ. Come on, Joan Baez, it's our chance to be hippies! If you want to be part of a movement much greater than yourself that actually shows this administration and the world that we will not be silent any longer, COME OUT TO THE RALLY!!

For more information, go to
www.unitedforpeace.com
www.operationceasefire.com

Sappy music for all!!

2005-09-18T19:14:00.000-04:00

It was been a hectic couple of days. The fall Board meeting season has come to a close, thank God. In case you didn't know, I am responsible for my company's Board of Trustees meetings. These are day-long meetings in which the richest, testiest, and smartest people I have ever met get in a room together and look to me for guidance. They don't know what's going on, I am supposed. I make sure there's a room and an agenda and food and a reason for them all to take a day out of their busy lives and pay attention to Rare. It's a whole freaking lot of pressure, proceeded by a big, fancy schmoozy dinner. The kind of dinner that I hate a try to avoid. Instead I had to go to and run it all.

I'm proud to say, it all went swimmingly. All of the worrying and fretting was for naught. The dinner was at Nora, an organic four star restaurant in DC, and it was delicious. The meeting was productive and went off without a hitch. The presentations all worked, the roof didn't cave in, nothing went wrong. Fantastic. Then I came home and slept, because I figured I had been working for about 48 hours straight and deserved a nap.

The weekend was filled with Courtney, Katharine, my new favorite show and product of humanity House, some good Bollywood, and the Maryland Wine Festival. It was so much fun to play college again. We hung out, got chinese food, and spoke in the language that only college girlfriends understand. That was my college experience - generally just being with my friends, talking for hours. I think this is different from the common college reminisence. I don't wistfully remember keg parties or that trust beer pong. I have mostly fond memories of the debauchery, but I have incredible memories of the friendship. The circumstances are different now. It takes a little longer for us to get together, a little more work, but the heart of it is still the same. That's nice.

Tonight is Lizzie and Brendan's modified Thanksgiving dinner and it's time to make the stuffing - so off I go.

Sappy songs to you all!

The Head of FEMA should really have some experience

2005-09-09T10:42:00.000-04:00

They always say that internships will get you far in life. Looks like it worked out pretty well for Michael Brown, our bumbling head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Turns out the extensive "disaster management" experience he claimed while serving as Assistant City Manager prior to his post at FEMA was actually less on-the-ground and more administrative than he and the President that hired him had originally let on. Turns out that he was actually the Assistant TO the City Manager, giving old Brownie (President Bush's term of endearment for the poor guy so over his head he resembles Jefferson Parrish) a position slightly lower than MINE.

"The Washington Post reported on Friday that five of eight top FEMA officials had come to their jobs with virtually no experience in handling disasters. The agency's top three leaders, including Brown, had ties to Bush's 2000 presidential campaign or the White House advance operation.

Former Edmond city manager Bill Dashner recalled for Time that Brown had worked for him as an administrative assistant while attending Central State University.

"Mike used to handle a lot of details. Every now and again I'd ask him to write me a speech. He was very loyal. He was always on time. He always had on a suit and a starched white shirt," Dashner told Time."

There are very few words to describe the damage and loss that Bush's arrogance and cavalier attitude towards leadership have caused this nation - "tragic" just doesn't seem enough.

In response to the First Lady's recent comments that criticisms of racism aimed at her husband's administration were "disgusting," I'd suggest Mrs. Bush take a look at the bodies floating in the streets, the despair on the faces of a nation whose government couldn't shorten its vacation to take care of the largest natural disaster in its history, and the smirk on her husband's face as he goes to bed every night knowing that he got away with it all. That's truly disgusting. Your politics kill people, lady, it's time you faced up to that.

For full stories -
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&u=/nm/20050909/pl_nm/brown_dc_1
http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/08/katrina.laurabush/index.html

Hungry Like the Wolf

2005-09-08T11:32:00.000-04:00

It's 8:30 and I'm not at work yet - in fact, I'm sitting on my bed in a towel, revelling in the non-workness of it all. It's fantastic. I have to head into the city to visit the World Wildlife Fund this morning for Board meeting prep. Perhaps they will give me something with their panda logo on it. That'd be sweet! Unfortunately, Lisa, the assistant I'm meeting, and I don't get along all that well because I think she's bad at her job and she doesn't like to respond to emails for months at a time. When this kid is telling you you're bad at your assistant job, it's dire straights.

Actually, that's not true, as I'm told over and over again, I'm really good at my job. Which will make leaving it in two years all the more enjoyable. It's wonderful to be totally and utterly missed when you leave a place.

That's about all for this morning. I think I am going to start a new blog that will just cover the impending marathon training, jeez that starts this Saturday. Yikes. Please give me money and your knees!! I'll update later with the address.

Really need to get dressed, Lisa deserves better than a towel. Oooh! Martha on Today!

Tropical Depression Katrina is a giant tease

2005-08-31T20:02:00.001-04:00

I've been waiting for rain for the past two days, rain that was promised to me in countless weather forecasts. It would appear that we in the DC metro area will not be seeing any of the torrential rains the VA newscaster looked so excited to get a piece of. It's very sad that a hurricane that brought so much death and destruction to the Gulf states brought such a glint to the eyes of the weather and newscasting professionals of America. I admit that I didn't watch any of the coverage, and indeed didn't even know that the hurricane was all that bad until Matt Lauer wouldn't stop talking about it yesterday. As such, all of the pictures and footage are completely out of context for me - it's as if the Earth just got angry at a few states and decided to unleash its wrath in the blink of an eye, and while that might be exactly how it feels to all the survivors of the storm, the rest of the world has the overdocumented progression to review and exploit for some months to come.

Regardless, I don't think it's going to be raining here anytime soon, so my car will stay dirty, and I'll have to go out and water the plants anyway.

I have some big, wonderful plans for the Labor Day weekend - working until

Yikes, the fucking power just went off and made me almost pee my pants! And now the cable is out. Damn. Sorry for the bad language, I was frightened.

Back to Labor Day - working until 4. Driving in some presumably bad traffic back home. Going to the State Fair with my mom and Courtney. Going to New York with Courtney to (in possibly the correct order) (cable back on) Katie Musar, James and Surrah Lipchock, Avenue Q, Mark I., Rachel, Upright Citizens Brigade, Katie Musar again. Needless to say, I am beyond excited.

Why did stupid Zoe Bartlett ever date that dumb Jean-Paul guy - he has a pretentious accent, eventually drugs her and gets her kidnapped, and is definitely NOT Charlie Young! I never liked that Zoe.

Still not raining. I wish that I was Amy Garndiner. This entry should really be titled My Love Affair with the West Wing.

The President just explained Max Weber to Abby, and Will Bailey explained John Rawl's veil of ignorance to some communications gals - I love that the West Wing teaches us things. These were things I already knew, but I have a fancy overpriced liberal arts education underneath my belt.

Now, I'm not trying to get philsophical here

2005-08-29T01:57:00.000-04:00

But I'm tired of the cycles of life. I'm tired of feeling as if everything is cyclical, returning us to the same point in history over and over again. I'm tired of the unshakable weights around our necks, and I'm tired of the magnetic pull of the moving sidewalk of life.

The names, faces, places, and vices can all change, but it's still all the same underneath. It doesn't matter what you're hung up on, because it always means the same thing. Some might find this reassuring, at least if you're going to get hurt, you know the color of the truck that's gonna run you over. Is it wrong to hope for more? Is it wrong to think that maybe the truck will swerve one of these times, granting that final reprieve? From all that I have seen in my short, short life, that hope is merely a dellusion.

Ironically, it's an Eve6 song giving me solace tonight. Stupid Laguna Beach making me think so late at night. Stupid roommates not housesitting with me. Stupid interweb not being all over the world allowing Courtney to be online and talk me down (or up) from my pit of philosophical despair. Mostly stupid Laguna Beach.

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
i say to my reflection
god, please spare me more rejection
'cause my peers, they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
try to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels
(not Eve6, but so much better.

My Mac can kick your PC's ass and look good doing it.

2005-08-21T23:06:00.000-04:00

Sorry, kids, not much more to say than that. I officially own the world's best computer, and being the pseudo-geeky kid that I am, this rocks my world.

I've had a wonderful time rediscovering the world of Finders and open apple keys. I've met the new neighbors, Safari and Widgets. I can honestly say that I dreading returning to my Dell Dimension Desktop at work tomorrow. Even with the bubbly XP design scheme, it's just not slick.

These are things that float my boat, I guess. Wishing you Macintosh technicolor dreams, goodnight.

Now I'm not a racist...

2005-08-10T20:50:00.000-04:00

but what's up with the Mexican men on the street? What about my sharing a roadway with you makes you think it's cool to do the tongue clicky noise? Have you ever gotten a good response from the tongue clicky noise? What about Cortez's raping and pillaging of your land centuries ago has led you down this path of unwelcome and unsolicited approval?

Reason these questions don't make me a racist - this behavior really is isolated to the Latino culture. I've never seen a Japanese dude make the clicky noise, nor a Dutch man, nor even an Ethiopian. It's just those South of the Border guys. Somewhere during the creation of delicious fish tacos and guacamole, Latino guys learned it's perfectly ok to devalue women they don't know, in fact, it's complimentary. What do their mother's say?

Hold on, Italian guys were really bad too. I blame the Mediterranean and all of the areas under its influence. Just further evidence of the evils of imperialism.

I Love the 80s

2005-08-10T20:40:00.001-04:00

I am currently loving '87, but in 19 minutes, I'll probably be loving '88. I have a lot of good memories of the 80s - I had a green shirt with a big giraffe head and real fringe hair, I had a Teddy Ruxpin, interest rates were of no concern to me, I never had to do laundry, the 80s were pretty cool. My 80s were filled with childhood delights. My decade is starkly contrasted with the 80s of VH1, though. These 80s are adult 80s, not my 80s...but it's all pretty funny, so I fake it. Hurray for the 80s, or at least the contemporary TV and music personality who clever quip about them!!

Ian Michael Black 4 ever.

I Love the 80s

2005-08-10T20:40:00.000-04:00

As long as she's got noise, she's fine

2005-08-05T14:53:00.000-04:00

Currently listening to Dar Williams and wondering how a life of cubicle-dwelling and rent-paying can possibly be as worthwhile as that of a travelling musician. Sure, I don't have any talent or instruments, but the story would be great. Maybe I could travel the country entertaining people in grocery store lines, as I have a tendency to do already. Maybe I could pack up and leave on a 4 year trek to find myself - I'm not sure college did the job. I certainly never stumbled upon my inner child or adult, my inner drunkard for a while, but that's it. What if you never really find yourself? What if you just find what you're happy being? Kind of like the caveman diet, you coast until you feel the need to change.

My grandmother left a note on her refrigerator once when she went to the grocery store: "I've gone out to find myself. If you see me before I return, keep me here." I always thought this was remarkably hip of my grandmother, until I saw it on a magnet at some beach-y boardwalk crap store. I still think that my grandmother is remarkably hip, but this is no longer a good example. She can rock an embroidered cotton shirt from Penny's like no body else.

I think I'm definitely a "grass is greener on the other side" kinda gal. I couldn't wait to get out of college because working would be better. It is, but now I can't wait to pick up and travel around because that would be better. And then, I can't wait to do the next thing, cause that will be better. The next thing is always better, which is good, I guess - it keeps you moving.

This is a v. philosophical entry. I think it's because I'm doing tedious things at work today and my id is longing to break free. Or my super id, or ego. Maybe I'M just longing to break free. If I could go anywhere today, it would be to Zion National Park. I would take my bike and towel and my iPod with its everlasting battery. There'd be hiking, spot finding and sitting until the sun went down. Or maybe I'd go to the that little beach on Capri under the ferry pier where my glowy constalation watch met its ultimate demise. I'd like to go to Turkey, too. I hear South Africa is cool, so says Jock Itch Rachel (good job with the Lotramin, btw!) Iceland, Arles, Germany, Morocco, Gabon, Eritrea, Andorra, Cinque Terra, Hondorus, and so on and so on.

You don't know how precious you are, you don't know how much I adore you.

I think I miss the ability to express myself through Away message. The opportunity for passive aggressivity has certainly been taken down a few notches.

I had oatmeal with chocolate chips in it this morning. That can't possibly be a healthy breakfast. They were Trader Joe's all natural chocolate chips, but still. It was delicious.

Perhaps more later.

The Internet loses

2005-07-29T03:24:00.000-04:00

My faithful interweb is totally failing me right now. There's nothing doing on the internet. I'm at work, I'm bored, I can't find anything to entertain me. This blows. And when did I decide to write and speak like a 18 year old on Spring Break from Orange County?

I feel bad for Orange County, they've received a particularly bad rap since the whole "O.C." "Laguna Beach" craze. Frankly, it all started with that Jack Black movie that featured an overweight Jack gyrating in dirty underwear. The O.C. was doomed after that. Does anyone remember when Ocean City, MD used to run a campaign featuring the "OC Ocean" tagline? I wonder if that that actually worked...were people having trouble remembering that Ocean City was, in fact, affiliated with the ocean?

I'm currently listening to my new Dar Williams CD, that I had to buy even though I have the digital files on a burned CD somewhere but no computer to make them into something meaningful. Listening to music at work is nothing new for Lizzie Musar, I need to have music all the time. This time it's the means by which I am listening to the music that is somewhat remarkable. I don't have speakers on my work PC, instead I have a microphone and earpiece headset so that I can use our long-distance-replacement VOIP software and that is how I am listening to Dar. I'm sitting at my computer, phone operator headset on, feeling like I should be asking someone if they'd like information on their Craftomatic bed. The microphone is my favorite part. The one headphone is my least favorite part, I feel like there's a concert going on to my left and no matter how many times I turn to find it, it's just not there. This may turn my brain to mush. But I've been driving with only one speaker in my car for about a year now, and I'm still ok.

California rolls are shortly being delivered to me, so maybe that will serve as the necessary pick me up. The healing powers of sushi and all. Ironic considering the almost lethal mercury content in most fish these days.

My relationship with money

2005-07-28T14:42:00.000-04:00

I have never really been on the best of terms with money. Frequently, I want more than I have. Thankfully, I have never actually spent more than I have. I could pay off my tiny bit of debt right now, except it's not hurting me. I have had people spend money on my behalf, which I now owe other people - example, student loans. I could not pay off my student loans right now, and don't ever actually anticipate ever being able to do so.

But the underlying truth is this - money has never hurt me and I have never hurt money. We have a cordial relationship where I don't abuse it and it doesn't get me into trouble. I thought that that was really that needed to exist between us. Anything else is just needless complications.

Apparently not. I'm trying so hard, SO HARD, to do the Exec Budgets for next year, because apparently this is part of my job, and I just don't get it. Money and planning for money and for not having money just do not make sense to me. I understand the purpose of a budget. It's to keep you in line with the money you anticipate having so you don't go off into the deep end of the financial pool. But as far as the tiny little details - isn't that what we have back account balances for? Not sure if your company can afford to hire a new person or buy a new boat (if you have some kind of boat-based company)? Check you back account, factor in the stuff you know you ahve to pay for in the future - if there's enough left over, buy the boat!

Why can't the world just operate according to that policy? Why do we need budgets, with FY05 Actuals and Targets and Forecasts and Allocations and stuff I can't even pronounce?!? Is there something inherently wrong with just trusting yourself to not spend more than you have or have access to?

I think it's exactly this thinking which has prevented me from ever actually balancing my checkbook. I have a rough estimate of what's in there. I know what I'd like to buy, and if the numbers don't add up or give me a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I put said item back on the shelf and move along. Is this too much to ask for from the rest of the world? Are we not all capable of showing such restraint?

CAN I PLEASE NOT HAVE TO DO THESE STINKING BUDGETS?!?!

Two wayward travellers in a Corolla with a guy named Vic

2005-07-26T17:42:00.000-04:00

Or something like that, it's from a very bad movie called Forces of Nature. I don't recommend it. Instead, go see March of the Penguins and tell me all about it.

Hanging out at work for a little while so I can time the mass transit trip home right and not have to wait 45 minutes in the blinding heat for a bus home from my fair, faraway Metro stop. A mile is just too far to walk in weather like this, especially in a skirt. Granted the skirt did get lots of attention today, and could possibly even snag me a ride home if I were to play my cards right, but I don't do the hitchhiking. Except for last Friday when I convinced the hospital shuttle driver waiting around for employees at the station to drive me home because he wasn't doing anything else. But that wasn't hitching, my thumb wasn't involved. He was very nice and only asked to see my Inova Health employee badge at the end of the trip. I shrugged my shoulders and he told me to have a nice day. Ahh, public transport, bringing people together.

Can't really think of anything all that interesting to report. I've found myself going on doomed interweb searches the past few days. Not doomed in the sense that I won't find what I'm looking for, but doomed in the idea that I shouldn't be looking for it in the first place. I should chalk it up to experience and leave it in the past, I should not regress via Internet. But I do, and then I get surprised by what I find, and then it gets stuck in my head. And while I do not want it in my head, in fact I want it dead and buried, it's still there. Hopefully the end to this little tale is I overcome the brain barnacles and rise to victory in the end. What kind of victory, I'm not sure. Probably a victory in which I do my work at work instead of looking at old boyfriends on the Internet. It's not like I'm looking for reconnection, it's just kind of a wondering - "I wonder what happened to so-and-so." I mean isn't that why people go back to their high school reunions, to find out what happened to the people they hated?

Time to leave for the Metro now. Ugh, humidity.

Oh the joys of family!

2005-07-25T20:23:00.000-04:00

If your not a Powers, I pity you. The Powers is the best lineage ever. We are of questionable background - there may be some Scottish or French or maybe even Welch in this blood, but we are in fact the best. For only at a Powers family function can you rename your aunt's dessert contribution Aunt Ann's Famous Couter AND have your grandmother laugh heartily and repeat the joke. Oh, Ann's famous couter - delish!

Fun things that happened today - got to go to the International Spy Museum and tour the Natural History Museum again. In a most disturbing turn of events, I watched the birth of a kanagroo baby about three times because I just couldn't turn away from it. It was hypnotic. Yuck. Kangaroos and their half-born babies are just gross.

Brendan's laptop is about to die, so this will have to be it for now.

Katie's blog readers - leave comments on my blog, I've been keeping it up longer!! Haha, that sounds dirty. I meant I've been blogging longer, which really isn't much to be proud of. Off to rediscover my lost knitting skills for a Upton's baby booties!