I am a terrible employee

Not only did I bail on attending our super fancy event in New York this evening, I am sitting at my desk blogging right now. I have done about 18 minutes of actual work all day. The rest of the time, I was aimlessly surfing the interweb. I wonder if this infernal computer has Spider Solitaire. Oh, it does, that might be the 4-5 pm hour of today.

I am currently listening to a streaming recording of Mike Doughty in DC from September. Good show. God bless those people who record shows and put them on the internet for the rest of us. I think this little file might have saved my life. I was seriously contemplating jumping out of the window (we're only on the second floor, I would have just hurt my knee more) if I didn't find something to break up the monotony of the day.

For those of you wondering - October sucks. It's a month of rain, and drearyness, and distracting contemplation. October is one of those months that makes you wonder about yourself. The weather is so halfheartedly crappy. There aren't snowstorms or heat waves to distract you, just a semi-permanent rain and a just cold enough to make you uncomfortable temperature. It's enough to make you think heavy thoughts. If I lived somewhere else, would I be happier? Am I just muddling through, or am I actively seeking the next phase of life? Am I a happy person? Am I ok if I'm not a happy person? The weather doesn't give you any excuse to not question yourself; it's just as ambivilent and unsure as you are. Boo to the rain and leaves on the ground. How are we supposed to remain upbeat if nature can't?

This song's called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train" or spring, whatever.

This brings to an interesting point that I've been ruminating on lately. So I saw Mike Doughty twice this weekend with my Mike Doughty and general cool music tutor, Katie Musar. After releasing his album on a bonafide label and pulling together a band to tour with, Mike Doughty has left the singer-songwriter universe. He is an act now, profiled in magazines and everything. And the show has changed. He no longer plays Only Answer, a tragedy in my opinion. Nothing seems spontaneous anymore, it's all been worked out with the other band members ahead of time. There is a new jam band element, which may be really cool for some people, but I think I prefered the banter and made up word bridges of the solo Mike Doughty. I am more lyrical than musical, and I think the music has taken over the show. Which is probably good. Anyway, amidst all the changes, he still says everytime, "This song is called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train"." Strange that that is the thing that stays.

My favorite song "I Hear the Bells" is playing right now, but I'm afraid to skip back at the end of it - the precious gift of the streaming show could be lost if I disrupt it, just like when the boys on Friends got free porn. You don't mess with the gift, man.

Does anyone remember my old blog? Or what I wrote about? I wish that it hadn't gotten deleted, I like to look over that stuff years later.

OK, work.