Monday, June 26, 2006
Hey, did someone remember to grab the pair of unicorns?
We've got a little 40 days and 40 nights action going on the DC metro area right now. I believe they are estimating about 300 inches of rain have fallen over the last 3 days. And it's not supposed to stop. All week is rain, rain, rain.
As a result and in true wrath of God style, we've got major flooding. A few things to note:
1. DON'T DRIVE THROUGH STANDING WATER. What is with you silly people who think that your Corolla can totally handle driving through that pond? It can't. It's gonna stall and then, when it's sitting their dead and immobile, the water will start moving. And as anyone who has taken Driver's Ed knows, it only takes 6 inches of water to move your car. So then you have to climb on top of the car, begging to be rescued from your perilous fate. All because you were impatient and wanted to drive through the big puddle. Resist the urge, drive around.
2. DON'T TRY TO DRIVE THROUGH FLOODED TUNNELS.
- DC is built on a swamp. The ground is pretty soggy as it is and can't hold much more water.
- DC has a lot of rivers around it. Beyond being really dirty, they are also filled with a lot of water.
- DC has a lot of tunnels. True to tunnel form, they are underground.
So all of this water that's falling from the sun, it needs to go somewhere. Probably on the roads, right? And water tends to gather at the lowest point possible, right? So all the tunnels are flooded. FLOODED. Don't try to drive through them. It will end badly.
3. In this most recent plague of water, I'm just wondering who exactly God is trying to kill off this time? Interesting thought, huh? If you haven't checked it out yet, you should go read the "Blogging the Bible" feature on Slate.com. It's very amusing and educational. I personally think that this go-round of flood waters is aimed on Congress.
Time to grab my washtub and paddle, I gotta go to work! I wonder if my spanish class will still start tonight....