Am I really watching a story on the resurgance of pirates on the Today show? Is that a man in Pennsylvania saying that he actually is a pirate? Is there nothing else going on in America today? And when did Volvo become the vehicle choice of pirates? Pirates aren't concerned with safety, they was unadulterated speed. The Black Pearl didn't come with anti-lock brakes and side airbags, man.
I don't want to go to work today.