Thursday, July 28, 2005

My relationship with money

I have never really been on the best of terms with money. Frequently, I want more than I have. Thankfully, I have never actually spent more than I have. I could pay off my tiny bit of debt right now, except it's not hurting me. I have had people spend money on my behalf, which I now owe other people - example, student loans. I could not pay off my student loans right now, and don't ever actually anticipate ever being able to do so.

But the underlying truth is this - money has never hurt me and I have never hurt money. We have a cordial relationship where I don't abuse it and it doesn't get me into trouble. I thought that that was really that needed to exist between us. Anything else is just needless complications.

Apparently not. I'm trying so hard, SO HARD, to do the Exec Budgets for next year, because apparently this is part of my job, and I just don't get it. Money and planning for money and for not having money just do not make sense to me. I understand the purpose of a budget. It's to keep you in line with the money you anticipate having so you don't go off into the deep end of the financial pool. But as far as the tiny little details - isn't that what we have back account balances for? Not sure if your company can afford to hire a new person or buy a new boat (if you have some kind of boat-based company)? Check you back account, factor in the stuff you know you ahve to pay for in the future - if there's enough left over, buy the boat!

Why can't the world just operate according to that policy? Why do we need budgets, with FY05 Actuals and Targets and Forecasts and Allocations and stuff I can't even pronounce?!? Is there something inherently wrong with just trusting yourself to not spend more than you have or have access to?

I think it's exactly this thinking which has prevented me from ever actually balancing my checkbook. I have a rough estimate of what's in there. I know what I'd like to buy, and if the numbers don't add up or give me a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I put said item back on the shelf and move along. Is this too much to ask for from the rest of the world? Are we not all capable of showing such restraint?



Blue Moon Mama said...

Dear Lizzie,

I love money. I try not to bow down to it, but at the end of each month, after I send out checks for the bills, I am humbled by its power. Yikes. Makes me want to go live in a cave in Greece.

Anyway, you should be more wary of Anonymous. People whose names begin with "A" are not to be trusted. Anakin. Adolph. Aragog. (OK, so Aragog is a spider, not a person, but still...)

Glad you enjoy my blog. I'm enjoying yours, too. I like this blogging thing. I suddenly feel more connected.

No more long hair for me. Got tired of having it stepped on. ;)

She Who Must Not be Named

Katie said...

blogs bring people together!

and lizzie, i'm glad to see you didn't inherit the musar debt gene
(much like you didn't get the PK enzyme deficiency gene)

work is crazy
not crazy ha ha
but crazy oh my god what have i gotten myself into

Courtney McKim said...

Oh credit card, I love thee-
Oh this ode for you I sing.
For with your help and with your power,
I'll buy most anything.

I'll charge my dinner or my lunch,
Some books, CDs, or tanning.
I don't think of my bank account
With every debt I'm scanning.

Oh credit card, my BFF,
Your virtues I extol.
'Cuz maybe if I buy enough
I'll finally feel whole.

Kay, I got bored of this poem and ended it on an anti-capitalist, anti-materialistic note. But in truth, you know I love my CC and it's ability to bring me limited happiness.

Katharine said...

Hooray for the return of Lizzie to her blog!

I'm afraid I'm not very poetic... but I am sure you're doing a great job with the company budget and will bring them to new financial heights.... or something like that:).