I'LL BE IN SPAIN FOR THE NEXT 10 DAYS!!!!
Adios!!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
Sometimes you don't need Quizilla
I am a Meredith. Or at least I was, or have been. I fell into that horrible role (that no one enjoys, btw) of the bad best friend. The best friend who was supposed to remain lucid and caring while their counterpart was allowed to go on their rollercoaster of emotions. The best friend who thought that maybe getting on for one ride couldn't hurt, and wouldn't it be great for everyone if it turned into more. The best friend who was so enticed by the mere description of what to expect, that guards were let down, and not good things resulted.
Only bad people would enjoy this position. Or the reality of this position, I should say. Only bad people would want to hurt their friends for their own gain, even if that gain is just to feel a little better. For everyone else, the offer of unconditional love, of acceptance even when you weren't trying to be accepted, can be a whole lot to turn down. It can be too much to turn down. And that offer can cloud your judgment, it can make you hope for what isn't there, just as the other person is doing.
So it ends up just sucking for everyone. No one is happy, everyone's either been hurt by someone or by their own actions. Blame is getting thrown around and there isn't much in the way of explanation, because no one can really explain. "I just wanted to see" is pretty damn callous, "I wanted to at the time" is equally awful. "It just didn't work" is the only reasonable respone, but by no means an explanation or an answer.
Is Meredith a bad person? I don't think so. The random bar boys were not her attempt to control men or hurt men, she just needed some attention. SHE IS NOT TRYING TO HURT GEORGE. She is going to hurt him, and hopefully that will tear her up inside as some tiny form of penance, but I honestly feel, in the bottom of my Grey's Anatomy loving heart, that she heard George's declaration and fell in love with the sound of it. She became attracted to the way that he made her feel, but not really to him. The former can be just as hard to ignore, though, and we should all remember that.
In other news, I realized today that I'm completely afraid of the military. What with working next to the Pentagon, living next to the nation's capital, and constantly bumping in to these uniform clad, mission-driven, possibly brainwashed hoards people who are FAR stronger than me, I am more than slightly skittish around them. Cammos freak me out more than dress uniforms. Women more than men because I feel like they are better undercover than the men. I'm not wholly convinced that they aren't all a separate alien race, domesticated by Republicans into projected a false picture of security while all the time monitoring and recording every human movement on Earth. I'm not wholly convinced that these GIANT groups of armed people saying the same thing at the same time are really there for my benefit. It's not the agenda of the administration that scares me (though it certainly does), it's the mindset of this mass of people. They do what they are told. That can't be good.
Peace out, kids, I can't take this post anymore. Thanks if you stuck through it all.
Only bad people would enjoy this position. Or the reality of this position, I should say. Only bad people would want to hurt their friends for their own gain, even if that gain is just to feel a little better. For everyone else, the offer of unconditional love, of acceptance even when you weren't trying to be accepted, can be a whole lot to turn down. It can be too much to turn down. And that offer can cloud your judgment, it can make you hope for what isn't there, just as the other person is doing.
So it ends up just sucking for everyone. No one is happy, everyone's either been hurt by someone or by their own actions. Blame is getting thrown around and there isn't much in the way of explanation, because no one can really explain. "I just wanted to see" is pretty damn callous, "I wanted to at the time" is equally awful. "It just didn't work" is the only reasonable respone, but by no means an explanation or an answer.
Is Meredith a bad person? I don't think so. The random bar boys were not her attempt to control men or hurt men, she just needed some attention. SHE IS NOT TRYING TO HURT GEORGE. She is going to hurt him, and hopefully that will tear her up inside as some tiny form of penance, but I honestly feel, in the bottom of my Grey's Anatomy loving heart, that she heard George's declaration and fell in love with the sound of it. She became attracted to the way that he made her feel, but not really to him. The former can be just as hard to ignore, though, and we should all remember that.
In other news, I realized today that I'm completely afraid of the military. What with working next to the Pentagon, living next to the nation's capital, and constantly bumping in to these uniform clad, mission-driven, possibly brainwashed hoards people who are FAR stronger than me, I am more than slightly skittish around them. Cammos freak me out more than dress uniforms. Women more than men because I feel like they are better undercover than the men. I'm not wholly convinced that they aren't all a separate alien race, domesticated by Republicans into projected a false picture of security while all the time monitoring and recording every human movement on Earth. I'm not wholly convinced that these GIANT groups of armed people saying the same thing at the same time are really there for my benefit. It's not the agenda of the administration that scares me (though it certainly does), it's the mindset of this mass of people. They do what they are told. That can't be good.
Peace out, kids, I can't take this post anymore. Thanks if you stuck through it all.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
A few thoughts before bed...
1. Story number one on the evening news - Dick Chaney accidentally shoots his friend in the face while hunting. That's right - guns don't kill people, Dick Chaney kills people. But we all knew that already. There isn't even irony here, just a sick, sick undeniable truth that HE SHOT SOMEONE. And the quail got away anyway. I say good for quail. As for the poor, millionaire lawyer who got shot in the face, that's what happens when you fraternize with Republicans.
2. Only ONE meterologist is necessary for each network newscast. Really, the whole "weather team on the street" is just a waste of bored camera men and airtime. Maybe, had the entire eastern seaboard's investigative journalism force not been so wrapped up in Snowy February 2006, we would have known that THE VICE PRESIDENT HAD SHOT SOMEONE a little sooner. Also, do you think that it's good for Weatherman #4's only job to be going outside in the parking lot and sticking a ruler in the snow. This can't be good for his self-esteem.
3. They blew up Early Edition! I watched him get BLOWN UP and Meredith got all of his pink mist on her. I should have known when they brought up the whole pink mist thing to begin with, my fault. The show was fantastic except for the fact that it's a giant tease. Actually, it's worse than tease, but I can't use that word here because my mom reads my blog :). All that build up, all that emotion, and then he comes over to tell her that he's glad she didn't die, and that her hair smelled like flowers. Seriously? Cause that's not cutting it. I needed some sustained meaningful eye-contact. Something!
And now I'm going to bed, where I may dream about bomb squads, unfulfilling relationships, and George cradling a very pregnant Dr. Bailey as she yelled at him for checking out her coochie-snoorcher.
G'night!
2. Only ONE meterologist is necessary for each network newscast. Really, the whole "weather team on the street" is just a waste of bored camera men and airtime. Maybe, had the entire eastern seaboard's investigative journalism force not been so wrapped up in Snowy February 2006, we would have known that THE VICE PRESIDENT HAD SHOT SOMEONE a little sooner. Also, do you think that it's good for Weatherman #4's only job to be going outside in the parking lot and sticking a ruler in the snow. This can't be good for his self-esteem.
3. They blew up Early Edition! I watched him get BLOWN UP and Meredith got all of his pink mist on her. I should have known when they brought up the whole pink mist thing to begin with, my fault. The show was fantastic except for the fact that it's a giant tease. Actually, it's worse than tease, but I can't use that word here because my mom reads my blog :). All that build up, all that emotion, and then he comes over to tell her that he's glad she didn't die, and that her hair smelled like flowers. Seriously? Cause that's not cutting it. I needed some sustained meaningful eye-contact. Something!
And now I'm going to bed, where I may dream about bomb squads, unfulfilling relationships, and George cradling a very pregnant Dr. Bailey as she yelled at him for checking out her coochie-snoorcher.
G'night!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Military musings
You may have heard about this movie Annapolis. It's a pretty, little dramatization of life at the Naval Academy in, wait for it, Annapolis, MD. I admit, I have not yet seen this movie, I don't even think that it's out yet. But the ad got me thinking...
Military academies are an interesting blend of two very opposite worlds. On one hand, a military training base. Discipline, obedience, rank, and order at paramount to the success of this base. Men and women are brought together, brokendown, and built back up as the ideal soldier. Those who do not conform to the ideal are made to feel their inadequacy. It's a society built on doing exactly what you are told, doing it better than the guy next to you, and rising to rank where you can then issue the orders. Sounds a lot like the modern business environment of ass-kissing and promotion, but the key difference is that ingenuity and initiative to make the old way better is rewarded in the business world, whereas it's angrily dismissed in the military world. The status quo is the order of every day. And it appears pretty damn efficient. Someone gets told to do something, they do it, and it's done. Except when Congress gets involved, then things just get all mucked up.
On the flipside of the military academy experience - the university model. Students of the military academies are just that, students. They take courses in math, science, public policy, and the liberal arts. In this college system, students are taught to challenge that which they are told, to form their own opinions, and defend them loudly for the sake of good argument. Obviously, as a graduate of this system, I'm more familiar with it than the military model. For the most part in these schools, non-military classes are taught by civilian professors.
So here's the thing - does one compliment the other? They seem at odds with each other. Does the student know when to turn one instinct on and the other one off? If one takes a stronger hold in the student, how does that affect the other aspect? Does a really great soldier need to know how to analyze Chaucer, and does a really great literary mind need to know how to take or give an order? Is a military education meant to foster the independent thinking soldier, or just a more civilized soldier? Are the officers produced that much better? What's the benefit of a well-rounded soldier when all their country needs them to do is fire where told, secure hills where told, and investigate threats where told?
Of course, there's the little problem of military leadership. When you're in a system that relies on obedience to rise through the ranks, at what level does the "Respond with own thought now" instinct come back to the soldier? Is it when the lives of others are put in their hands? Does the study of political theory help with this responsibility? I've studied a ridiculous amount of political theory, and none of it could tell me how to place someone else's life on the line. Maybe I didn't play close enough attention.
I've a few academy guys who are, for the most part, the independent thinking guys. I think this was a bit of a disadvantage for them. They question everything and I think have found the academy life that much more difficult. I've known one rank and file, recruiting poster soldier, he's done very well and has nothing but contempt for those troublesome thinkers in his class. He also has nothing good to say about the liberal arts classed he's forced to take as part of his well rounded military education.
I've know one academy girl, but she was kicked out for not portraying the "morals of a modern soldier." She was kind of a slut and that was against the rules, so off she went.
It's a life that I'll probably never understand (military academies, not slut-hood. Not that I claim any real expertise in that area either.), and one I don't think I'd be welcomed into either. "Why" is just too engrained in my vocabulary, I think.
Sidenote - these very dedicated people defend my sorry, skeptical butt every day. So thank you.
Military academies are an interesting blend of two very opposite worlds. On one hand, a military training base. Discipline, obedience, rank, and order at paramount to the success of this base. Men and women are brought together, brokendown, and built back up as the ideal soldier. Those who do not conform to the ideal are made to feel their inadequacy. It's a society built on doing exactly what you are told, doing it better than the guy next to you, and rising to rank where you can then issue the orders. Sounds a lot like the modern business environment of ass-kissing and promotion, but the key difference is that ingenuity and initiative to make the old way better is rewarded in the business world, whereas it's angrily dismissed in the military world. The status quo is the order of every day. And it appears pretty damn efficient. Someone gets told to do something, they do it, and it's done. Except when Congress gets involved, then things just get all mucked up.
On the flipside of the military academy experience - the university model. Students of the military academies are just that, students. They take courses in math, science, public policy, and the liberal arts. In this college system, students are taught to challenge that which they are told, to form their own opinions, and defend them loudly for the sake of good argument. Obviously, as a graduate of this system, I'm more familiar with it than the military model. For the most part in these schools, non-military classes are taught by civilian professors.
So here's the thing - does one compliment the other? They seem at odds with each other. Does the student know when to turn one instinct on and the other one off? If one takes a stronger hold in the student, how does that affect the other aspect? Does a really great soldier need to know how to analyze Chaucer, and does a really great literary mind need to know how to take or give an order? Is a military education meant to foster the independent thinking soldier, or just a more civilized soldier? Are the officers produced that much better? What's the benefit of a well-rounded soldier when all their country needs them to do is fire where told, secure hills where told, and investigate threats where told?
Of course, there's the little problem of military leadership. When you're in a system that relies on obedience to rise through the ranks, at what level does the "Respond with own thought now" instinct come back to the soldier? Is it when the lives of others are put in their hands? Does the study of political theory help with this responsibility? I've studied a ridiculous amount of political theory, and none of it could tell me how to place someone else's life on the line. Maybe I didn't play close enough attention.
I've a few academy guys who are, for the most part, the independent thinking guys. I think this was a bit of a disadvantage for them. They question everything and I think have found the academy life that much more difficult. I've known one rank and file, recruiting poster soldier, he's done very well and has nothing but contempt for those troublesome thinkers in his class. He also has nothing good to say about the liberal arts classed he's forced to take as part of his well rounded military education.
I've know one academy girl, but she was kicked out for not portraying the "morals of a modern soldier." She was kind of a slut and that was against the rules, so off she went.
It's a life that I'll probably never understand (military academies, not slut-hood. Not that I claim any real expertise in that area either.), and one I don't think I'd be welcomed into either. "Why" is just too engrained in my vocabulary, I think.
Sidenote - these very dedicated people defend my sorry, skeptical butt every day. So thank you.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Update
Welcome to the World, Slimer II
Stupid classical music station, not playing Kelly Clarkson ever. You still suck.
Stupid classical music station, not playing Kelly Clarkson ever. You still suck.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
The Karmic 1 - 2 Punch
First, a run of particularly bad luck...
1. My beloved apple green iPod mini, Slimer, has happened upon a bump in his short life. He finds himself unable to hold a full battery charge. He tries and he tries and he tries, but all he can muster is a mere 30 or so minutes before the battery icon of death comes on and Slimer slips into a quiet coma. Compared to his promised 18 hours of battery life, this is a bit disappointing.
After a long talk with the Apple "genius" at the Clarendon store, Slimer is currently being held for testing. I can't say what unspeakable things they will do to him, but I have been told that I will almost certainly be receiving a new iPod as a replacement for my poor broken Slimer shell. I'm not sure how I feel about this turn of events. I love my Slimer, I'm getting used to the idea of Slimer II.
2. Z104, Washington's modern music radio station, has flipped to a classical format. My favorite radio station, my standby, crappy pop music, as comfy as an old pair of jeans, Kelly Clarkson at least 40% of the day radio station is gone. GONE!! Faithful readers of my blog/fans of my life will remember that this is not the first time I have been so betrayed by the radio - last year, radio station of my youth and angsty identity, 99.1 WHFS, was tragically flipped to an entirely Spanish language format. To add insult to injury, one of my favorite songs was the last HFS song to be played before the El Zol craziness began. This latest betrayal did not hurt any less. Z104 was my favvorite, it played everything I would if I owned a radio station, and that is not something that I am particularly proud of, but the loss still hurts.
One of the reasons that I'm so distraught over this is because of the manner in which radio stations are flipped. These transitions are often abrupt and unannounced. Until 11:59 am, everything is the same as it was. Then at 12pm, the station goes quiet and returns with a totally new format. It sucks! It's jarring and disrespectful to the faithful listeners of a radio station. It's disrespectful to the employees of a radio station, especially the on air talent, who frequently are not informed that they will be losing their jobs until the day of the switch. Station flipping treats a station, the audience, and the personalities as disposable commodities, and in a medium as personal as music, that's pretty rude. The mega-radio corporataions - Clear Channel and Infinity - are businessmen of the worst kind; they've forgetten that they rely on their customer and staff for everything that they have. They see only the bottom line of their own profits.
Perhaps this is my "evils of capitalism" speech. It is a classic tale of profits over people. Perhaps I only care because I'm personally affected. Perhaps I really don't want to pay for satellite radio. Regardless, it's a crappy situation that wasn't communicated well and has definitely left a little void in my life.
The karmic portion of this tale of woe - I think this is all a bit of payback for my days as an illegal downloader. I stole music, I'm sorry. But it was all bad music that no one really wanted. It was probably stuff that iTunes would give away for free anyway. We're talking old Ryan Adams and Aqua, "Barbie Girl." But that doesn't matter. I still broke the rules, I took something that wasn't mine simply because it was easy and saved me some cash. And now I'm being punished by the universe. My lifeblood, good music to singalong to in the car, is being drained from me and there's little that I can do. I'm certainly open to ideas from the public on acceptable pennance to end this streak. Or maybe another radio station to program into preset 1.
1. My beloved apple green iPod mini, Slimer, has happened upon a bump in his short life. He finds himself unable to hold a full battery charge. He tries and he tries and he tries, but all he can muster is a mere 30 or so minutes before the battery icon of death comes on and Slimer slips into a quiet coma. Compared to his promised 18 hours of battery life, this is a bit disappointing.
After a long talk with the Apple "genius" at the Clarendon store, Slimer is currently being held for testing. I can't say what unspeakable things they will do to him, but I have been told that I will almost certainly be receiving a new iPod as a replacement for my poor broken Slimer shell. I'm not sure how I feel about this turn of events. I love my Slimer, I'm getting used to the idea of Slimer II.
2. Z104, Washington's modern music radio station, has flipped to a classical format. My favorite radio station, my standby, crappy pop music, as comfy as an old pair of jeans, Kelly Clarkson at least 40% of the day radio station is gone. GONE!! Faithful readers of my blog/fans of my life will remember that this is not the first time I have been so betrayed by the radio - last year, radio station of my youth and angsty identity, 99.1 WHFS, was tragically flipped to an entirely Spanish language format. To add insult to injury, one of my favorite songs was the last HFS song to be played before the El Zol craziness began. This latest betrayal did not hurt any less. Z104 was my favvorite, it played everything I would if I owned a radio station, and that is not something that I am particularly proud of, but the loss still hurts.
One of the reasons that I'm so distraught over this is because of the manner in which radio stations are flipped. These transitions are often abrupt and unannounced. Until 11:59 am, everything is the same as it was. Then at 12pm, the station goes quiet and returns with a totally new format. It sucks! It's jarring and disrespectful to the faithful listeners of a radio station. It's disrespectful to the employees of a radio station, especially the on air talent, who frequently are not informed that they will be losing their jobs until the day of the switch. Station flipping treats a station, the audience, and the personalities as disposable commodities, and in a medium as personal as music, that's pretty rude. The mega-radio corporataions - Clear Channel and Infinity - are businessmen of the worst kind; they've forgetten that they rely on their customer and staff for everything that they have. They see only the bottom line of their own profits.
Perhaps this is my "evils of capitalism" speech. It is a classic tale of profits over people. Perhaps I only care because I'm personally affected. Perhaps I really don't want to pay for satellite radio. Regardless, it's a crappy situation that wasn't communicated well and has definitely left a little void in my life.
The karmic portion of this tale of woe - I think this is all a bit of payback for my days as an illegal downloader. I stole music, I'm sorry. But it was all bad music that no one really wanted. It was probably stuff that iTunes would give away for free anyway. We're talking old Ryan Adams and Aqua, "Barbie Girl." But that doesn't matter. I still broke the rules, I took something that wasn't mine simply because it was easy and saved me some cash. And now I'm being punished by the universe. My lifeblood, good music to singalong to in the car, is being drained from me and there's little that I can do. I'm certainly open to ideas from the public on acceptable pennance to end this streak. Or maybe another radio station to program into preset 1.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
So goes an incredible song written by Leonard Cohen and successfully covered by many, many others, but none so well as Jeff Buckley. This is a song that I feel very close to for some reason that I can't quite explain. The lyrics are beautiful, but I'm sure that it's Buckley's voice that continues to draw me in. His vocals have the ability to keep me hooked through all 7 minutes of the song, even when I've lost the ability to sing along. The lyrics are just esoteric and intellectual enough to make me feel smart for catching, and are grounded in enough real life heartbreak and uncertainty to keep me invested. The meaning of their words has been debated by many - some say Cohen was writing a tale of love from the Bible, others say it's an allegory of alienation. I will never know. I don't even care to venture a guess. This song makes me glad that it was written. It makes me glad that so many have stumbled upon it, and that I could be one of them. At different points in my life, I have identified with different sections. But I've always listened to the whole thing. It will always stand out to me as one of those perfect songs. They rarely come by, so I'll hold on to this one. As well as "Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley, also a great song.
Brief sidenote - as a testament to the far-reaching love of this song, it's been featured in at least three end of episode, important-reflective-things-happening-now montages on very good TV shows, most notably "House" and "West Wing." The WW usage actually had me in tears, big, blubbery (OK I also had the flu) tears. I don't know why it's the underground touchstone of a few generations, but I think there's more going on in this song than we hear on the surface.
I heard there was a secret chord
That david played and it pleased the lord
But you don't really care for music, do you
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah .... .
Baby i've been here before
I've seen this room and i've walked this floor
I used to live alone before i knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you
But remember when i moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a god above
But all i've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Brief sidenote - as a testament to the far-reaching love of this song, it's been featured in at least three end of episode, important-reflective-things-happening-now montages on very good TV shows, most notably "House" and "West Wing." The WW usage actually had me in tears, big, blubbery (OK I also had the flu) tears. I don't know why it's the underground touchstone of a few generations, but I think there's more going on in this song than we hear on the surface.
I heard there was a secret chord
That david played and it pleased the lord
But you don't really care for music, do you
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah .... .
Baby i've been here before
I've seen this room and i've walked this floor
I used to live alone before i knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you
But remember when i moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a god above
But all i've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The genius of the McKim Yates
Picasso painted
our last fling. But this time I
want Georgia O’ Keefe.
~ Courtney McKim Yates
our last fling. But this time I
want Georgia O’ Keefe.
~ Courtney McKim Yates
Far too cold to go to work today
Is this a legitimate excuse for skipping work? It's literally painful to go outside today. My hair is wet and will probably stay wet for the next few hours. If I were still in school, I'd probably skip class. There is no good reason to subject oneself to such pain.
I wish I could staple things to Katie Couric's face. "I am a waste of space and airtime." "Have you seen some of my turly horrendous haircuts?" "What - you don't enjoy my opinion on every story I present?" She is doing wonderful things for colon cancer, though.
Need to get dressed. Again, no desire to move. Would prefer to sit here forever, dropping the subjects out of all of my sentences.
In slightly happier news, I can now complete a whole sodoku puzzle by myself! I find that sodoku is a lot like life - if you stick with it and have someone subtly pointing out your mistakes, you'll eventually prevail.
I'll leave you with that.
I wish I could staple things to Katie Couric's face. "I am a waste of space and airtime." "Have you seen some of my turly horrendous haircuts?" "What - you don't enjoy my opinion on every story I present?" She is doing wonderful things for colon cancer, though.
Need to get dressed. Again, no desire to move. Would prefer to sit here forever, dropping the subjects out of all of my sentences.
In slightly happier news, I can now complete a whole sodoku puzzle by myself! I find that sodoku is a lot like life - if you stick with it and have someone subtly pointing out your mistakes, you'll eventually prevail.
I'll leave you with that.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Agoraphobia or simple anger?
If you have ever had the joy of going out in public with me, especially a public plagued by large crowds, I'm sure you will attest to the fact that I become a little skittish around all of the people. Skittish isn't exactly the word, actually. Uncontrollably rage filled, that's probably more accurate.
I don't know why, but I hate all of the people. I don't like crowds, especially because they all gather directly in front of me. And then they mossie along, enjoying the sights. We all have a mission in life, people, and you're slowing me down!! If I'm shopping, my mission is stop shopping as soon as possible. Please get out of my way. A sidewalk or hallway is not an appriopriate place to stop and hang out with your friends or your children or your skeevy boyfriend/girlfriend. The mall is a place with a purpose, not aimless gathering. You are hall tumors, a plague on all of society.
I know that I am not special. Just because I want to walk faster than everyone else doesn't mean that they should all bow down to my whims. But it does make good fiscal sense that the stores of the mall should work to keep the crowds moving along. Just like with the moving sidewalk at the airport which gets people point A to point B faster, holiday shoppers should be shuffled along these congested mall walkways. Much like the bullet train attendants of Japan's overcrowded commuter systems, malls could hire armies to keep the crowds moving. This would serve the stores' purposes by ensuring that the maximum amount of eager shoppers would pass by their windows. The malls wouldn't have to worry about creating more parking spaces because people wouldn't be wasting time taking up spaces. Everyone would be happier and probably spend more money, helping the economy. It's really a fantastic solution. I think I need to take this idea somewhere.
I don't know why, but I hate all of the people. I don't like crowds, especially because they all gather directly in front of me. And then they mossie along, enjoying the sights. We all have a mission in life, people, and you're slowing me down!! If I'm shopping, my mission is stop shopping as soon as possible. Please get out of my way. A sidewalk or hallway is not an appriopriate place to stop and hang out with your friends or your children or your skeevy boyfriend/girlfriend. The mall is a place with a purpose, not aimless gathering. You are hall tumors, a plague on all of society.
I know that I am not special. Just because I want to walk faster than everyone else doesn't mean that they should all bow down to my whims. But it does make good fiscal sense that the stores of the mall should work to keep the crowds moving along. Just like with the moving sidewalk at the airport which gets people point A to point B faster, holiday shoppers should be shuffled along these congested mall walkways. Much like the bullet train attendants of Japan's overcrowded commuter systems, malls could hire armies to keep the crowds moving. This would serve the stores' purposes by ensuring that the maximum amount of eager shoppers would pass by their windows. The malls wouldn't have to worry about creating more parking spaces because people wouldn't be wasting time taking up spaces. Everyone would be happier and probably spend more money, helping the economy. It's really a fantastic solution. I think I need to take this idea somewhere.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Excessive you say?
That's our Christmas tree. And that's Brendan for reference. Our Christmas tree is absolutely gigantic. The spirit of Christmas is alive and well within Apt. 2401 - and it's threatening to overtake anything that gets too close.
There are big plans for this tree - lights, popcorn, and come January 5th, a trip off our fourth floor balcony cause there is no way that sucker is going back down the elevator.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
"Good for you"
- What Tad Hamilton, Hollywood movie star, says to innocent little Rosalie after she rejects his advances and tells him that she should be getting home rather than stay with him at his place prior to wedding, second date, or even second base.
I hate this. I hate it when boys act all superior and knowing after a girl makes the smart move and doesn't hook up with them. To stay with him would be against her better judgement, so she says "I/you should leave." AND HE TAKES CREDIT FOR THE GOOD DECISION/PRETENDS TO VALIDATE HER GOOD DECISION/MAKES BELIEVE THAT HE KNEW SEPARATION WOULD BE THE SMART AND IDEAL OPTION. He didn't!!! Oh, no, he got shut down. He was rejected. But with his "Good for you, xxxx" he becomes the all-knowing dominate male, still issuing validation and approval on a woman who JUST REJECTED HIM.
I'm sorry, I have experience with this. How dare you undercut the power that I showed by making the mature, adult choice by telling me that it's ok??? I don't need your approval, I already got it when you invited yourself into my pants. Your only job now is to be hurt. To be hurt and realize that I am better than you.
Were you trying to take advantage of me with the initial advances, is that why you were so impressed when I rebuffed them? Did you think that I was some weak-willed, easily controlled little girl who you could have your way with? Surprised that it wasn't as easy as you thought?
WELL DON'T MAKE YOURSELF FEEL ANY BETTER BY CLAIMING MY VICTORY. I TURNED YOU DOWN, I SHOWED SOME COURAGE, I MADE THE SMART DECISION, IT WAS ME NOT YOU. YOUR ONLY ROLE IN THIS LITTLE SCENE WAS TO BE THE REJECTED ONE.
DON'T THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO STEAL MY THUNDER!!!!
I hate this. I hate it when boys act all superior and knowing after a girl makes the smart move and doesn't hook up with them. To stay with him would be against her better judgement, so she says "I/you should leave." AND HE TAKES CREDIT FOR THE GOOD DECISION/PRETENDS TO VALIDATE HER GOOD DECISION/MAKES BELIEVE THAT HE KNEW SEPARATION WOULD BE THE SMART AND IDEAL OPTION. He didn't!!! Oh, no, he got shut down. He was rejected. But with his "Good for you, xxxx" he becomes the all-knowing dominate male, still issuing validation and approval on a woman who JUST REJECTED HIM.
I'm sorry, I have experience with this. How dare you undercut the power that I showed by making the mature, adult choice by telling me that it's ok??? I don't need your approval, I already got it when you invited yourself into my pants. Your only job now is to be hurt. To be hurt and realize that I am better than you.
Were you trying to take advantage of me with the initial advances, is that why you were so impressed when I rebuffed them? Did you think that I was some weak-willed, easily controlled little girl who you could have your way with? Surprised that it wasn't as easy as you thought?
WELL DON'T MAKE YOURSELF FEEL ANY BETTER BY CLAIMING MY VICTORY. I TURNED YOU DOWN, I SHOWED SOME COURAGE, I MADE THE SMART DECISION, IT WAS ME NOT YOU. YOUR ONLY ROLE IN THIS LITTLE SCENE WAS TO BE THE REJECTED ONE.
DON'T THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO STEAL MY THUNDER!!!!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I've been a bad, bad blogger. I am still alive. I am still here. Nothing really new to report.
I got all my hair chopped off in the cutest way. Go to the myspace page to see - http://www.myspace.com/5153145, alas I don't think I have the picture on my computer.
That's really about it. I'm up to my eyes in work I don't really want to do, so I'm gonna get to that. Good bye all, I promise more later if you will still have me.
Side note: This entry's headline reminds me of the abusive relationship game that Courtney and I used to play. Perhaps we are a little to irreverant for our own good....
I got all my hair chopped off in the cutest way. Go to the myspace page to see - http://www.myspace.com/5153145, alas I don't think I have the picture on my computer.
That's really about it. I'm up to my eyes in work I don't really want to do, so I'm gonna get to that. Good bye all, I promise more later if you will still have me.
Side note: This entry's headline reminds me of the abusive relationship game that Courtney and I used to play. Perhaps we are a little to irreverant for our own good....
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I am a terrible employee
Not only did I bail on attending our super fancy event in New York this evening, I am sitting at my desk blogging right now. I have done about 18 minutes of actual work all day. The rest of the time, I was aimlessly surfing the interweb. I wonder if this infernal computer has Spider Solitaire. Oh, it does, that might be the 4-5 pm hour of today.
I am currently listening to a streaming recording of Mike Doughty in DC from September. Good show. God bless those people who record shows and put them on the internet for the rest of us. I think this little file might have saved my life. I was seriously contemplating jumping out of the window (we're only on the second floor, I would have just hurt my knee more) if I didn't find something to break up the monotony of the day.
For those of you wondering - October sucks. It's a month of rain, and drearyness, and distracting contemplation. October is one of those months that makes you wonder about yourself. The weather is so halfheartedly crappy. There aren't snowstorms or heat waves to distract you, just a semi-permanent rain and a just cold enough to make you uncomfortable temperature. It's enough to make you think heavy thoughts. If I lived somewhere else, would I be happier? Am I just muddling through, or am I actively seeking the next phase of life? Am I a happy person? Am I ok if I'm not a happy person? The weather doesn't give you any excuse to not question yourself; it's just as ambivilent and unsure as you are. Boo to the rain and leaves on the ground. How are we supposed to remain upbeat if nature can't?
This song's called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train" or spring, whatever.
This brings to an interesting point that I've been ruminating on lately. So I saw Mike Doughty twice this weekend with my Mike Doughty and general cool music tutor, Katie Musar. After releasing his album on a bonafide label and pulling together a band to tour with, Mike Doughty has left the singer-songwriter universe. He is an act now, profiled in magazines and everything. And the show has changed. He no longer plays Only Answer, a tragedy in my opinion. Nothing seems spontaneous anymore, it's all been worked out with the other band members ahead of time. There is a new jam band element, which may be really cool for some people, but I think I prefered the banter and made up word bridges of the solo Mike Doughty. I am more lyrical than musical, and I think the music has taken over the show. Which is probably good. Anyway, amidst all the changes, he still says everytime, "This song is called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train"." Strange that that is the thing that stays.
My favorite song "I Hear the Bells" is playing right now, but I'm afraid to skip back at the end of it - the precious gift of the streaming show could be lost if I disrupt it, just like when the boys on Friends got free porn. You don't mess with the gift, man.
Does anyone remember my old blog? Or what I wrote about? I wish that it hadn't gotten deleted, I like to look over that stuff years later.
OK, work.
I am currently listening to a streaming recording of Mike Doughty in DC from September. Good show. God bless those people who record shows and put them on the internet for the rest of us. I think this little file might have saved my life. I was seriously contemplating jumping out of the window (we're only on the second floor, I would have just hurt my knee more) if I didn't find something to break up the monotony of the day.
For those of you wondering - October sucks. It's a month of rain, and drearyness, and distracting contemplation. October is one of those months that makes you wonder about yourself. The weather is so halfheartedly crappy. There aren't snowstorms or heat waves to distract you, just a semi-permanent rain and a just cold enough to make you uncomfortable temperature. It's enough to make you think heavy thoughts. If I lived somewhere else, would I be happier? Am I just muddling through, or am I actively seeking the next phase of life? Am I a happy person? Am I ok if I'm not a happy person? The weather doesn't give you any excuse to not question yourself; it's just as ambivilent and unsure as you are. Boo to the rain and leaves on the ground. How are we supposed to remain upbeat if nature can't?
This song's called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train" or spring, whatever.
This brings to an interesting point that I've been ruminating on lately. So I saw Mike Doughty twice this weekend with my Mike Doughty and general cool music tutor, Katie Musar. After releasing his album on a bonafide label and pulling together a band to tour with, Mike Doughty has left the singer-songwriter universe. He is an act now, profiled in magazines and everything. And the show has changed. He no longer plays Only Answer, a tragedy in my opinion. Nothing seems spontaneous anymore, it's all been worked out with the other band members ahead of time. There is a new jam band element, which may be really cool for some people, but I think I prefered the banter and made up word bridges of the solo Mike Doughty. I am more lyrical than musical, and I think the music has taken over the show. Which is probably good. Anyway, amidst all the changes, he still says everytime, "This song is called "Thank You Lord For Sending Me The F Train"." Strange that that is the thing that stays.
My favorite song "I Hear the Bells" is playing right now, but I'm afraid to skip back at the end of it - the precious gift of the streaming show could be lost if I disrupt it, just like when the boys on Friends got free porn. You don't mess with the gift, man.
Does anyone remember my old blog? Or what I wrote about? I wish that it hadn't gotten deleted, I like to look over that stuff years later.
OK, work.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Grey's Anatomy is the best show ever
And this post is going to be rather fragmented as I am currently engrossed in said show, therefore only able to write during breaks. I have my priorities, people.
Oh my goodness, such a good show. It raises the important questions, like can the loves of our lives be terrible people and yet still be the loves of our lives? I don't know. The love of your life is supposed to be good for you. They aren't supposed to be evil, adulturous bitches or bastards. They are supposed to make you feel happy and wonderful and like being a better person. They are supposed to bring out the best in you, and someone who habitually hurts you only brings out pain. But there are plenty of people who say they are head over heels in love with people who hurt them time again. I think that's when you have to ask yourself why. Why do you keep sticking around? That isn't love. It's against the very definition. But persuasive, nonetheless.
Why is Izzie going out with Dr. McJerkFace? Couldn't the writers please take 10 minutes out of their day and write two good story lines for Izzie and George, possibly placing them in a bed together, just to see how things develop.
In other medically related news, my left knee has rebelled against marathon training. I cannot walk. I am immobilized with pain. On a scale of one to ten, I want a new knee. The preliminary diagnosis is runner's knee or ilibibital patelialetical something or other. Long and short of it, my high arches, strong quads and weak thighs have pulled the knee cap to the outside, cause lots and lots of pain. And here's the thing about the pain - IT NEVER GOES AWAY. I got it sitting, standing, walking, sleeping. My knee has gone all kinds of grindy and now it talks to me in a strange mumbly hobbit language. Anyway, we shall see how training progresses from here on out. In the meantime, I'm walking like the young Forrest Gump.
Oh that George! He just lost Meredith's mother.
Ok, this has now failed to keep my interest. Back to Grey's Anatomy full time.
Oh my goodness, such a good show. It raises the important questions, like can the loves of our lives be terrible people and yet still be the loves of our lives? I don't know. The love of your life is supposed to be good for you. They aren't supposed to be evil, adulturous bitches or bastards. They are supposed to make you feel happy and wonderful and like being a better person. They are supposed to bring out the best in you, and someone who habitually hurts you only brings out pain. But there are plenty of people who say they are head over heels in love with people who hurt them time again. I think that's when you have to ask yourself why. Why do you keep sticking around? That isn't love. It's against the very definition. But persuasive, nonetheless.
Why is Izzie going out with Dr. McJerkFace? Couldn't the writers please take 10 minutes out of their day and write two good story lines for Izzie and George, possibly placing them in a bed together, just to see how things develop.
In other medically related news, my left knee has rebelled against marathon training. I cannot walk. I am immobilized with pain. On a scale of one to ten, I want a new knee. The preliminary diagnosis is runner's knee or ilibibital patelialetical something or other. Long and short of it, my high arches, strong quads and weak thighs have pulled the knee cap to the outside, cause lots and lots of pain. And here's the thing about the pain - IT NEVER GOES AWAY. I got it sitting, standing, walking, sleeping. My knee has gone all kinds of grindy and now it talks to me in a strange mumbly hobbit language. Anyway, we shall see how training progresses from here on out. In the meantime, I'm walking like the young Forrest Gump.
Oh that George! He just lost Meredith's mother.
Ok, this has now failed to keep my interest. Back to Grey's Anatomy full time.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Just wanted to you all to see my work desktop photo
I want one, really really badly. I think it's an interesting comment on my propensity for affection that scars.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Ode to my Mom
There once was a lady named Pussy Cat,
Her friends say she's all that.
With kitties a plenty,
She's bright as a new penny,
To her we tip our hat.
-OR-
There once was a woman named Sue,
Two lovely daughters she brought through.
Finding each one a brat,
Now she's sticking to cats,
Who leave her gifts of poo.
Her friends say she's all that.
With kitties a plenty,
She's bright as a new penny,
To her we tip our hat.
-OR-
There once was a woman named Sue,
Two lovely daughters she brought through.
Finding each one a brat,
Now she's sticking to cats,
Who leave her gifts of poo.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Won't you help to sing these songs of freedom?
To the people reading this blog - I don't know your personal politics. You're probably one of my friends, so I have a good feeling, but I am trying to be far from presumptuous.
I am reasonably certain that you don't like war though, especially needless wars fought almos entirely for naught and at the cost of tens of thousands of lives around the world. Only scary people wars like that.
If you find yourself in this bad war-hating, peace-loving, humanity-embracing category of good folk, I suggest that you come out to the GIGANTIC RALLY TO END THE WAR IN IRAQ in DC tomorrow afternoon and evening. Highlights to include - the largest protest and march during the entire conflict, a bunch of great speakers including Cindy Sheehan, great bands during the accompanying concert, and JOAN BAEZ. Come on, Joan Baez, it's our chance to be hippies! If you want to be part of a movement much greater than yourself that actually shows this administration and the world that we will not be silent any longer, COME OUT TO THE RALLY!!
For more information, go to
www.unitedforpeace.com
www.operationceasefire.com
I am reasonably certain that you don't like war though, especially needless wars fought almos entirely for naught and at the cost of tens of thousands of lives around the world. Only scary people wars like that.
If you find yourself in this bad war-hating, peace-loving, humanity-embracing category of good folk, I suggest that you come out to the GIGANTIC RALLY TO END THE WAR IN IRAQ in DC tomorrow afternoon and evening. Highlights to include - the largest protest and march during the entire conflict, a bunch of great speakers including Cindy Sheehan, great bands during the accompanying concert, and JOAN BAEZ. Come on, Joan Baez, it's our chance to be hippies! If you want to be part of a movement much greater than yourself that actually shows this administration and the world that we will not be silent any longer, COME OUT TO THE RALLY!!
For more information, go to
www.unitedforpeace.com
www.operationceasefire.com
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Sappy music for all!!
It was been a hectic couple of days. The fall Board meeting season has come to a close, thank God. In case you didn't know, I am responsible for my company's Board of Trustees meetings. These are day-long meetings in which the richest, testiest, and smartest people I have ever met get in a room together and look to me for guidance. They don't know what's going on, I am supposed. I make sure there's a room and an agenda and food and a reason for them all to take a day out of their busy lives and pay attention to Rare. It's a whole freaking lot of pressure, proceeded by a big, fancy schmoozy dinner. The kind of dinner that I hate a try to avoid. Instead I had to go to and run it all.
I'm proud to say, it all went swimmingly. All of the worrying and fretting was for naught. The dinner was at Nora, an organic four star restaurant in DC, and it was delicious. The meeting was productive and went off without a hitch. The presentations all worked, the roof didn't cave in, nothing went wrong. Fantastic. Then I came home and slept, because I figured I had been working for about 48 hours straight and deserved a nap.
The weekend was filled with Courtney, Katharine, my new favorite show and product of humanity House, some good Bollywood, and the Maryland Wine Festival. It was so much fun to play college again. We hung out, got chinese food, and spoke in the language that only college girlfriends understand. That was my college experience - generally just being with my friends, talking for hours. I think this is different from the common college reminisence. I don't wistfully remember keg parties or that trust beer pong. I have mostly fond memories of the debauchery, but I have incredible memories of the friendship. The circumstances are different now. It takes a little longer for us to get together, a little more work, but the heart of it is still the same. That's nice.
Tonight is Lizzie and Brendan's modified Thanksgiving dinner and it's time to make the stuffing - so off I go.
Sappy songs to you all!
I'm proud to say, it all went swimmingly. All of the worrying and fretting was for naught. The dinner was at Nora, an organic four star restaurant in DC, and it was delicious. The meeting was productive and went off without a hitch. The presentations all worked, the roof didn't cave in, nothing went wrong. Fantastic. Then I came home and slept, because I figured I had been working for about 48 hours straight and deserved a nap.
The weekend was filled with Courtney, Katharine, my new favorite show and product of humanity House, some good Bollywood, and the Maryland Wine Festival. It was so much fun to play college again. We hung out, got chinese food, and spoke in the language that only college girlfriends understand. That was my college experience - generally just being with my friends, talking for hours. I think this is different from the common college reminisence. I don't wistfully remember keg parties or that trust beer pong. I have mostly fond memories of the debauchery, but I have incredible memories of the friendship. The circumstances are different now. It takes a little longer for us to get together, a little more work, but the heart of it is still the same. That's nice.
Tonight is Lizzie and Brendan's modified Thanksgiving dinner and it's time to make the stuffing - so off I go.
Sappy songs to you all!
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